Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Others May Go

The paths all maunder
In herds of the crowds and in flocks such as these
Some aimlessly saunter
For long! So far! As far’s the eye sees

One notices certainly And I’m not one to say
The vestiges left by the passerby
They stretch ‘fore the eye all the way, all the way
The hooves in the sand- they’re remembered by

Afore them’s the trace of some elder- for sure
Had traipsed down this trail- a century ago
The people; their path is depicted before
And all that is left is for them to just -go!

I roam and I rove - on other a way
One doesn’t see steps- I fail to imprint
What’s worse is before me- no men could betray
Not centuries nor eons had given a hint

The others may go- their past is perceived
The elders; their wise have them mirthful received
The others may go- I’m not one to fare
Nor by warmth, nor by old - I am guided nowhere...

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


do you think of all marauders would work better
as far as the ye can see
very simple suggestions
I do like you style of writing


check out our chat room open to all 24/7

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.