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The Coldest Night

I asked the falling snow, one eve
To spare a minute of its time
To listen and to please believe
My youthful tears, my golden rhyme

The falling flakes held too much doubt
I think in me- I know in I
And from the clouds they fell on out
They did not stop to see me cry

I wandered on- the snow that night
Had left me out alone and still
The darkest wind, the winter white
Was cold - yet I was colder still...

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Comments

Thank you, Alan!
And she needs to the advice...

author comment

with the very fair critique from Mr. Jeeves. I support the notion of changing from [their] to [it's]. Other than that, this read very well. Simple lines with good rhythm. ~ Geezer.
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Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
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.

Line 2: ITS not THEIR (and not IT'S either)
Line 6: I don't understand this - is there a word missed out or are there some typos? "I think in me" doesn't make sense and neither does "I know in I"... And a full stop at the end of each stanza would help too.
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xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

I asked the falling snow one eve
To spare a minute of its time'

it's
appears better than

their ===would fit a person ....you may reconsider try google
otherwise a sweet poem

Hello, Etty.
Second line first stanza is a well worn phrase!
I'd do away with the sparse punctuation altogether.
I actually like the ambiguity in the second stanza.

all in all a good poem!

Obi.

..that everyone's advice has been totally ignored!
RIGHT ON BABY!
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xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

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