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Olympic Aleppo

Olympic Aleppo…

Who dares say we’re all the same,
as blood flows freely in Aleppo.
Will Russia or China take the blame,
as introversion creates another ghetto.

Syrian people fight in dusty streets,
praying that death will pass them by.
The great athlete who now competes,
wins a medal then decides to cry.

In Olympic Aleppo, games are started,
next up, dodge the hot explosive shell.
This is not an event for the faint hearted,
if your timings off prepare to meet hell.

At jumping bullets the pictures hazy,
can’t really tell who’s got the lead.
Scrabble a building’s got to be crazy,
prepping petrol bombs, is the top seed.

In peppered alley they run a hundred yards,
a helicopter gun ship helps speed their foot.
We from the comfort are like armchair retards,
throwing in towels allowing dictator to shoot.

Athletes we’re not competitors so much less,
shouting from our bunkers always on the cheap.
Have a great view of our leader’s scant redress,
as front row cheers deafen screams, mothers weep.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Wrote this but could not finish it during the London olympics, just now made the time to finish it i think.
Editing stage: 

Comments

I had to look aleppo up now it makes perfect sense to me, there are a couple of places where the flow is disrupted, if you read it out loud it will stand out ...well put together other than that .. its such a shame its our reality

kudos

love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Thank you, and it is a shame, worse still the olympics are over and those people are still dying. Thank you. Love Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

I agree with JC...although the 'Olympian' connect is not obvious...perhaps that can be introduced in stanza two?...it makes sense afterwards of course.

Thought provoking and clever to connect the idea of' 'games' and the noble actions of olympians to the fight for survival by ordinary citizens.

'Betty'

Thank you, the news always reported the olympics first, and then went on to tell you about the suffering in Syria. Thanks again. Love Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

when sports turned from gladiator
to purely existentialistic displays

would they have used steroids then?
would soldiers of fortune come forth
as mere civilians gifted
unknown operatives funded
by politicians and secret societys
flourish as favourites and leaders

Someone has to hold order
be trained to pull the trigger
hold the gyro steady
turn the pedals with toes
while a gunship lines up

and someone has to be there
to fill petrol bottles
distract or frontline

not all herded into reservations
peacefully
to starve
not all herded into ghettos
for system analysis
peacefully

Hadrian built his wall
so did the Chinese

they retired the x-71
and found Cell Phones
and WWW systems
to find a voice

I enjoyed this poem
for its length
and thought provoking
journey

Thank You

Thank you i enjoyed your comments. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

the irony of relating the Olympic-Games to war and the trials of the people imbroiled in the war zones of the world. As I have been reminded of late, you should read this as though you are someone who is reading it for the first time. you will find the stumbles. Great idea, ~ Gee

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Thank you i'll start working on this poem soon, to much flashing into my head at the moment. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

Today things have gone beyond sense and deliberation of what is good for people. The elections in America took over from the Olympics, while they dodge the bullets in Syria we dodge the bullets of responsibility.

I sit here at my computer
with my flight controller on
and fly my Drone
across vast desert plains
till I see with its Eyes
a man standing there
with no fear
he can't realise
He can never see me
from where I sit
In my room so far away
Yet I will kill him today
Maybe take out a family or two
It matters not to me or you
Some message
told my controller what to do
I hope you didn't suffer
as I flew to you
I never ask for anything
I have a new game to play
Tomorrow is another day

The world is mad but who is going to be strong enough to say STOP..
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thank you again Ian. I wish some of our leaders could read the sense that is in the first sentence of your comment. But i wonder if they would take from it what i do. Thank you, Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

You are one of our best social commentary poets.

Serious critique- It lacks musicality of language and prosodic values. Oh, believe me, my friend this is an eternal struggle for me too.

cheers,
Jess
Everything changes bar one. Neopoet's 'Prime Directive'-
"Critique don't comment".
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Thank you Jess, i was just letting it go as it was felt and agree it's a bit rough. Thanks again Regards Roacoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment
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