Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Relativity Overruled

Relativity Overruled …..

Religious politicians will end us all,
as Lemmings we sleepwalk behind.
Let’s leave Europe, or build a wall,
It’s the politics of the blind.

Let’s stand foursquare with corruption,
greedily gorging on giant golden grounds.
Ignoring mother earths destruction,
believing, it’s never as bad as it sounds.

We’d rather listen to soothsayers,
peddling poison propagating pap.
Remembering them in our prayers,
tepidly trooping towards the trap.

Weak minds devoid of will,
buried in fame shows or soap.
Media peddles a drug of overkill,
removes even the pretence of hope.

We all talk the talk of messiah,
caring not for true freedom of speech.
Those strong enough to differ are liar,
Even Eve’s apple becomes a rotten peach.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Chaff in the wind....
Editing stage: 

Comments

is one that I have written of and I think yours' tells the story very well. We are a nation of fools led by the latest politicians In vogue. We are not the country we once were; when we were not afraid to stand up to the scum that managed to float to the top! We are a country founded on the premise that our government is for the people and by the people. Yet we let con-artists and lifetime politicians burden us with debt, run things their way and in general tarnish our image around the world. Shame on us!
I like that you rhyme well and the scansion was pretty even all the way through. Nice work! ~ Geezer.
.

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

I wouldn't be to critical of your own country, I think this is a problem we all share. Most of the media corporations are controlled by the wealthiest people on the planet, and are basically told who to favour in any election. And can influence those voters who are easily misguided, we in Britain will shortly find this to our cost. Thank you for your comments. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

and fun to read. The ryhmes work, not forced.
I'm not sure of the meter: For example:

Let’s stand foursquare with corruption,
greedily gorging giant golden grounds.
Ignore mother earths destruction,
believing it’s never as bad as it sounds.

for me to keep the meter, the cadences, would be

Let’s stand foursquare with corruption,
greedily gorging golden grounds.
Ignoring mother earth's destruction,
saying it’s not as bad as it sounds.

Please tell me if you hear what I mean. There are so many ways to read in English, i makes the "science" of meter very hard. i just read it like I have drumsticks in my head, going da-da-da-da in what ever way the accents seem to fit, and here the beat seems more consistent. Does meter have to be consistent? Within a certain range, I think poetry and music are connected. My answer is yes.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Thank you, and I do hear and agree with what you are saying, I have made some changes and hope this sounds better.

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

I fear it is the extremists on both sides who would stampede us over the cliff if that's what it takes to ensure they stay in power....stan

Thank you Stan, I agree but if we know this why don't we look for an alternative. We're either to simple or to Lazy. We can't keep on blaming the politician. We're the people who put them there. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

Thank you Stan, I agree but if we know this why don't we look for an alternative. We're either to simple or to Lazy. We can't keep on blaming the politician. We're the people who put them there. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.