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The Ocean

I have
Swum in it,
Sailed on it,
Lived near it,
Gazed over it,
Dove through it,
Took fish from it,
Been drawn to it,
Been healed by it,
Made love beside it,

No wonder it’s so hard to leave it...

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem titled "The Ocean" exhibits a strong sense of connection and attachment to the ocean through the use of first-person narrative. The repetition of "it" throughout the poem effectively emphasizes the central role the ocean plays in the speaker's life. However, the poem could benefit from more vivid and specific imagery to fully immerse the reader in the speaker's experiences.

For instance, instead of saying "Swum in it," the poet could provide more detail about what it feels like to swim in the ocean. What are the sensations? Is the water cold or warm? How does the salt taste? Similarly, "Sailed on it," could be enhanced with descriptions of the boat, the wind, the waves, etc.

The line "Been healed by it," is particularly intriguing, suggesting a deeper emotional or spiritual connection to the ocean. This could be expanded upon to give the reader a better understanding of how the ocean has healed the speaker.

The final line, "No wonder it’s so hard to leave it..." is a powerful conclusion that effectively conveys the speaker's attachment to the ocean. However, it could be strengthened by showing rather than telling. Instead of directly stating it's hard to leave the ocean, the poet could describe the feelings of longing or sadness that come with parting from it.

Overall, the poem has a strong foundation and a clear theme. With more detailed imagery and exploration of the speaker's emotions, it could be even more engaging and impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

With the ocean- it seems you have many fond memories beside it. Well done!

~RoseBlack~

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