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Neopoet Challenge #17(topic 2) Letter To MY Ex

Letter To My (first) Ex (#2 topic)
(32 lines)Neopoet Random Challenge #17

I just had to know
the answers which eluded me why...

why wouldn't you kiss or hold me
while I was with your child.
I know you loved me at first,
and I was truly beguiled.

at first you seemed delighted with me
you hung on my words and I yours.
got to know each other by night and day,
discoveries made, opening new doors.

you thought I was brilliant at a young age
because of all the books that I read.
I, was impressed equally so
I got into the older man's head.

why in Heaven's name did you do it
took those giant steps away?
no longer touching or talking
a cold shoulder, to my dismay!

now, both of us married to others
and I still need to know why,
you wanted to give up our baby...
and you wouldn't even try.

we were set to meet at the lake that day
but I was too afraid to see you
because of your power unbroken o're me
I didn't want to know if it was true.

you will never know how hard it was to resist
to stay my head and heart, going my own way.
instead I took my cycle for a drive
so I didn't show up on that fateful day.

I know it hurt you for a moment
but no deep lasting scars for us
be silent was the better choice
not open that box, no need to discuss...

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
thank you Geezer for all your help!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Take a line apart, throw away all the unecessary words that you don't need
and put the sentence back together again:

"You'll never know, how hard to resist
my head and heart going two ways
I took my cycle out for a drive
I never showed up on that day" There's a lot you can do with this one.~ Geez.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

Incredible. You know that? This is incredible. I could tighten it up but that’s not your style. Love it.

Tim

for the feedback...now I have written a second one, and I don't know how to distinguish them in the title

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

A lot of emotion behind this one and honest questions that you deserve(d) answers to. The things of our past that never seem to let us rest. Hope you have found peace with this. :)

~RoseBlack~

Geezer really helped me out on the writing of this poem. I think he did well and deserves half the credit! I wrote another one with eddy's help, lol! I have come to terms with it. the hardest thing to deal with is: I ran away at the eleventh hour

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

By all involved. I am dealing with my own why's but not in a romantic relationship capacity.

~RoseBlack~

I wish you the best, no matter the circumstances, may luck be with you.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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