Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

My Cold-Hearted Gwen

Submitted by Blue-eyed Bolla on Tue, 2023-10-17 05:10

Those rhymes I once relished,
adorned and embellished
with classical quotes:
(antique anecdotes)

Were lines I once cherished,
Once published – now perished.
Their ghosts in my mind
look to me to find…

the source of the sorrows
that tore my tomorrows
with longing for girl,
in diamond and pearl,

who’d vanquished my verses,
condemned them with curses,
and poisoned my pen:
My cold-hearted Gwen!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
For my once cold-hearted Gwendoline
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Tue, 2023-10-17 11:10

neopoet's picture
Volunteer badge

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

It is not feasible to offer feedback.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Candlewitch

Tue, 2023-10-17 07:55

Candlewitch's picture
Volunteer badge

your rhyming is fabulous with eloquent wording and phrasing. the flow from line to line is liquid and memorable. you paint a flawless picture of your own personal Gwendoline! I much enjoyed reading this poem.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Blue-eyed Bolla

Wed, 2023-10-18 11:11

Blue-eyed Bolla's picture

Many thanks, Candlewitch. Glad you liked this little piece.

KBloor

author comment

Geezer

Tue, 2023-10-17 19:34

Geezer's picture
Volunteer badge

of the Gothic season, the perpetually dreary Autumn landscape of burnt umber and orange hues.
Pumpkins and vines frosted with rime, and slick and slippery skeletons slithering across the lawn.
Owwwwwwwooooo...
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Blue-eyed Bolla

Wed, 2023-10-18 11:09

Blue-eyed Bolla's picture

Yeah, echoes of our dear friend Mr E.A. Poe.

KBloor

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.