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lovesick lines

I ponder, as rain on my window pane
slides down like the tears
we shed for the years
we let slip away
when we could not stay,
together.

I think and I feel, like when we would kneel
at the altar rail
till our faith grew stale
and our love took flight
in December’s blight,
bad weather.

I muse in my mind, on the gods unkind
who tore us in two
(slew love that was true)
when we, by the stream,
lay down there to dream,
on heather.

I grieve for the past; as long as I last.
I’ll visit you there
down dells of despair
where we reached the end of
our tether.

I breathe and I live, but cannot forgive
our cruel, callous crime
that robbed us of time:
a lifetime of being,
together.

Review Request (Intensity): 
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Last few words: 
lovesick lines composed on a rainy day...
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

a lovely, but sad poem. I very much like the style. can you tell me what is the form called? your poem flows very well. I like the simple and descriptive title! thanks for sharing!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

It's some form of sestain, think I got from one of Wordsworth's. Many thanks for your feedback and kind comments.

KBloor

author comment

I shall look it up.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Many thanks, Ekaterina. Glad you enjoyed my poor little rhymes.

KBloor

author comment

both the story and the form. Very nicely done! ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thank you, Geezer, for taking the time to read and feedback on my poor little rhymes.

KBloor

author comment

I’m very impressed. The pattern is so interesting and executed flawlessly.

Tim

Thanks you, Tim. I appreciate your comments and feedback.

KBloor

author comment
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