Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Love & Loss

You said I was the water,
pure and life-sustaining
When did you decide to dehydrate?
You said we could get lost,
fly away together
When did you grow wings without me?
When did you decide
to bury your greatest treasure,
so far down you cannot see it
When did you decide
to hide your greatest discovery,
never to be found again
When did you decide
to let go of the one
you said you'd wait forever for?
Did I disappear,
become the phantom limb
you feel but won't let yourself see
Did the imagined pain
scare you away from me
Was the fear more powerful
than the feeling I gave to you?
Am I easier to suppress,
than hold on to?

Let it be known,
that fear of the unknown,
should never ever
halt love

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing stage: 

Comments

I loved this piece , but there is a problem with the flow, probably to many repeated words as if there was an echo, then the whole piece could need stanzas,
Please have a look and experiment with this one, you can post the new piece under this one.
There are some that will like it as it is so maybe it is me, Take care and I will check later today as it is only 15 minutes old, I need to sleep lol, Night, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.