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Leftovers

Submitted by Lavender on Thu, 2024-01-11 20:33

I found a loose shoestring
in the bottom of the sewing basket -
white, a bit frayed, but useful for
another job of some sort.
The other string is gone,
as are the shoes, but so...
there it is.

***

There are three apple trees
living together behind her barn.
They produce enough fruit for
endless pies, sauces, and jellies
to dress Christmas baskets and pantries.
Many are committed to the ground, ripened
and fermented for the bees and
creatures passing by, but so...
there they are.

***

His house has a couple bedrooms
once occupied by children,
now grown and gone.
This is what time does -
empties homes of people, but
hangs their voices in slightly opened
closets, their faces safely on the shelves
like trinkets, treasured collectibles. Ahh, but so...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Possible Vignette?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Candlewitch

Fri, 2024-01-12 10:16

Candlewitch's picture
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such engaging pieces of poetry! I guess i really liked the last line on each section! your poem has character and dignity and leaves the conclusion hanging... my favorite lines are:

This is what time does -
empties homes of people, but
hangs their voices in slightly opened
closets, their faces safely on the shelves
like trinkets, treasured collectibles. Ahh, but so...

most thought provoking...

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Lavender

Fri, 2024-01-12 13:00

Lavender's picture
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In writing this, it felt like a similar moment shared, but within different circumstances. Dunno...
I appreciate you reading and lending your thoughts!
L

author comment

Candlewitch

Fri, 2024-01-12 13:05

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I really liked the last lines of each they booted me into thinking!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Lavender

Fri, 2024-01-12 13:19

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I'm happy to help "boot" in any way! :)
Lx

author comment

Triskelion

Fri, 2024-01-12 10:23

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...After reading this (these) scenarios, I was left feeling it would benefit from some measure of closure, but perhaps that is what you intended. If so, please disregard my humble request that follows.
I thought that one more stanza exploring some points on the foibles of our human condition might impact (this) reader..lol..
And with a final line like "but so, (or and so), here we are" would close it for me.

Thomas

.
.

...so like my lost dreams...the flood

Lavender

Fri, 2024-01-12 13:03

Lavender's picture
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I will mull over your suggestions. I really like the ending, "...and so, here we are." Thank you for your generous time!
L
Are you familiar with vignettes?

author comment

MermaidMaster

Fri, 2024-01-12 21:52

This is absolutely wonderful!! I love the repetition and the attention to detail! the way you create so much meaning from inanimate objects is delightful. I read this poem a few times and liked it more each time. Thank you so much for sharing!!

<3

Lavender

Sat, 2024-01-13 10:53

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for your lovely comments! I appreciate your kindness!
L

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RoseBlack

Sun, 2024-01-14 15:39

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Concept of this poem and how even old or used things have a purpose or repurpose. Gives one something to think about

~RoseBlack~

Lavender

Sun, 2024-01-14 19:33

Lavender's picture
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A little different form, but I'm glad you enjoyed this!
Thank you for reading!
L

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