Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

JUST ONE DROP

MAN AND SOCIETY

JUST ONE DROP

Just one drop, I requested
For the great red sea
Burns like a volcano.

Just one drop, I pleaded
For my bones are like a feeble foundation
Carrying a five storey building.

Just one drop, I begged
For my skin is folding
And I'm just twenty years of age.

Just one drop, I needed
For my heart can't produce tears
Which flow round my body.

I saw plenty in your house
Yet you declined my request.

I saw you waste plenty
Yet you said you had none.

I saw them, bottles upon bottles
Stacked together, listening to your lies.

Why did you forsook my call?
Just a drop, a life would have lived.

Copyright©styles goodluck

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

The poem is beautiful. But the ending would have sounded a little better and intense if the refrain 'for just a drop' had been placed alone at the very bottom. Overall, the work is convincing. Thanks for sharing.

chimaono

Thanks!

author comment

welcome styles. i love this poem. it could refer to so many things, each reader might think of something different. it also has a powerful message. great work

Thank you granny

author comment

When I came to this site
'twas mostly Western Style only
recalling as most do still
past poets turning in their graves

I found quatrains boring
posted many
edited by Aussies best poets

But then I forced my way
like does a river
had to meander
now i am so happy
to see
after composing decades in freestyle

all youngster have now their own
moving swimming freestyle style
good style
your style,
But I had to compose a quatrain for the current competion can you gloss over it o lovely poet

Hi there!

That's for you comment. I definitely would love to check it out but I don't know where to find it

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.