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As I Feel The Breeze
As I feel the breeze coming from the ocean shore,
I think of how I loved you more and more
As all those days and nights went by
And the seagulls flew across the sky.
I think of how you loved me, too,
And we promised each other that we would make it through.
I realize that those times were long ago.
But I just want to let you know
That my feelings for you have not changed.
Maybe we can start over again?
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Jeffrey Fleischer
Wed, 2017-06-07 13:51
My poem
Thank you, Mark.
Jeff
Jeffrey Mark Fleischer
author comment