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Head Gear

I am the poor pedestrian
marked for disposal
surreptitiously layered
beneath brier branches
and sculpted dreams

where unseated remnants
protect my head
from the constant barrage
and self nagging focus

there,
that'll teach me

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I wonder if this is meant to be read as an epitaph.
I thought it is really well written.
The last line espicially gives me much to think of

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Glad to see you here and thank
you for reading and commenting
on my short poem.

author comment

I don’t understand the poem. I think that is an important statement. I try to at least understand what a poem is about and then struggle with “meaning”. I consider myself to be a better than average reader I’ve been reading poems for so long. So I think it’s worth it to share this.
Lately I’ve been very honest about my feelings about poems that I can’t find a basic core comprehension. Rather than just pass this up I wanted you to know

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

I always say if the poem has to be
explained, it has failed delivery.

author comment

to move a poem from the abstract to solid ground. For me, I review in my mind what was the force, the core feeling that made inspired me to write it. Not so much what it "means", but perhaps the emotion I wanted to find a poem for. It's true a poem shouldn't have to be explained, but most often a few clues of the original intent is all you need to reach your audience so they can let the poem do the rest.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

One cannot run away from yourself,
or reality.
I've never been a fan of abstract poetry,
can't tell by my writing lol.

author comment

poetry is about perception...this piece gives me an image of a common man trying to redeem himself to stand out in a crowd and blaming himself for not being able to do it and learning albeit too late what he should have done to make life more purposeful....
........................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

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