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Grrrl Power

Submitted by aeron maccloud on Tue, 2018-03-27 18:58

I pad, stridingly down the street,
powerful, invulnerable,
one hundred and fifty centimeters
of indomitability

A man yells from a car
“sit on my face”
I riposte
“so your nose is bigger than your dick”

His three friends emerge
Scary, yes,
an unbroken stare
and a blade in my hand

They leave.
gangs rapists are closet fags,
they want their dicks where their mates ones were.

Not all of us can fight like I can,
I learned never ever to be harmed
that way ever ever again.

Sisters
You can fight like me,
sans fist or blade,
cos you know what they are,
knowledge is power
and they have none,
when named.

Love you my sisters,
we have the upper hand,
and it’s pretty.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Sparrow

Thu, 2018-03-29 04:23

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Loved the message, if only we could harness the universal anger about such things and educate these drifting thugs.
Part of things we have to put up with when a civilisation reaches out for destruction..
I hope you can write more for us it will give us an extra facet on life..
Welcome to our site and just ask if there is anything you need to know,
Yours Ian .. x
PS:- Love the expressive picture on your profile..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

aeron maccloud

Mon, 2018-04-09 12:57

aeron maccloud's picture

and i love your pic.

Aeron
If poetry doesn't change anything it isn't anything.

author comment

Geezer

Wed, 2018-03-28 09:50

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is the first line. When I read the word [pad] I think of a soft step, maybe even stealthy. The next word being stridingly [which should be stridently], gives the the feeling of power and purpose. Maybe, you might use another word instead of pad? like [strut or step]? Nice to see a woman that isn't afraid to use the threat of violence to get her point across. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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aeron maccloud

Mon, 2018-04-09 12:59

aeron maccloud's picture

I see the conflict but really like pad because it makes me think of a big cat like a panther or leopard.
Now I don't know what to do.

Aeron
If poetry doesn't change anything it isn't anything.

author comment

fink555

Wed, 2018-03-28 22:19

fink555's picture

sound like the woman from Ms. 45.

aeron maccloud

Mon, 2018-04-09 13:00

aeron maccloud's picture

but I really loved "I Spit On Your Grave".

Aeron
If poetry doesn't change anything it isn't anything.

author comment

Simon

Thu, 2018-03-29 05:01

Simon's picture

Repentance is a personal decision and all of us soften our hearts that much love and peace will be the universal controller.
(I learned never ever to be harm that way
Ever ever again.) This part touch me a lot thanks for this poem.

aeron maccloud

Mon, 2018-04-09 13:03

aeron maccloud's picture

but sometimes we need to harden our hearts, I think, just to survive.
Maybe not the heart itself but hide it in a hard safe place to protect it until it is safe to come out.

Aeron
If poetry doesn't change anything it isn't anything.

author comment

raj

Thu, 2018-03-29 05:25

there is a thin line between fear and courage and in your poem you have urged the girls to cross the line and not be vulnerable to threats...
.......................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

aeron maccloud

Mon, 2018-04-09 13:06

aeron maccloud's picture

most women can't fight most men physically. Something happened to me and I learned fighting and weapons. One good punch instead of a scream and most men are so startled they back off!

For most of us we need to find our power in other ways.

Aeron
If poetry doesn't change anything it isn't anything.

author comment

weirdelf

Mon, 2018-04-16 11:40

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Don't say it, just be it.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
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