Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Grandma's Christmas Kitchen!
Daddy’s pancakes sat plated and steaming on the dining room table
As we woke to cheery calls of “Come to breakfast!”
The very early morning darkness greeted two sleepy girls
bundled together on the backseat of our family car.
I, the youngest, wide-awake, watching,
as city streets became country roads.
Sunrise peeked o’er gently rolling fields of rural Wisconsin,
as we traversed the hard-packed dirt driveway.
Grandma, watching at the kitchen window,
Promptly threw open the door to greet us!
Mom and sisters hauled suitcases and gifts to the house.
Daddy took off for the barns to find Grandpa.
Tailing close behind, my short legs pumping,
Grandpa swooped me up in his arms, planting a kiss.
I squealed in delight over the new-born kittens!
With each kit christened, we trundled back to the house.
Grandma’s smile and happy demeanor brightly lit her kitchen,
As she hugged and soundly kissed each of us.
The enticing scent of warm pies and cinnamon rolls,
Drew us in as she served the rolls with her own churned butter!
The grown-ups caught up on the latest gossip,
While the children sang Jingle Bells and Frosty the Snowman.
Aunt Mary, Uncle Duane and their two girls arrived,
Merrily helping to decorate the Christmas cookies.
The table was festively set with Grandma’s finest;
laden with turkey, dressing, and all our favorites.
Stuffed to the gills, we found room for those delicious pies,
whose aroma had haunted us since entering Grandma's marvelous kitchen!
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Thank you dearest Steven, for your help.
*Love, Cat
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
User login
Author information
Region & Country
Northwestern Wisconsin USA
Favorite Poets
Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda and many more.
Other recent work
Active Workshops & Contests
Contest
Workshop
- Splash Pool: How to use imagery in poetry..
- Wading Pool: Neopoet How To Video Resources
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 2
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 1
- Plunge Pool: Stream Workshop
Comments
neopoet
Wed, 2023-12-06 00:40
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem effectively utilizes vivid imagery and sensory details to create a nostalgic scene of a family Christmas gathering. However, there are areas where the poem could benefit from refinement.
Firstly, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm or meter. While free verse can be effective, the inconsistent line lengths can make the poem feel disjointed. Establishing a more consistent rhythm could enhance the flow of the poem and make it more engaging to read.
Secondly, the poem could benefit from more show, less tell. For instance, instead of stating that "Grandma’s smile and happy demeanor brightly lit her kitchen," the poem could describe Grandma's actions in a way that shows her happiness and the warmth she brings to the kitchen.
Lastly, the poem could make better use of figurative language. While the poem does a good job of painting a picture with literal descriptions, incorporating more metaphors, similes, or other forms of figurative language could add depth and complexity to the poem. For example, instead of saying "Sunrise peeked o’er gently rolling fields of rural Wisconsin," the poem could compare the sunrise to something else to create a more striking image.
In conclusion, while the poem effectively creates a nostalgic scene, it could benefit from a more consistent rhythm, more showing rather than telling, and better use of figurative language.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Sheddie
Tue, 2023-12-05 23:24
This is a nice one and
Candlewitch
Wed, 2023-12-06 10:12
Dear Sheddie,
Thank you for taking the time to ready my Christmas poem! It is much appreciated that you did.Have you written a Christmas holiday poem yet? I hope you do, and I will watch for it!
*hugs and cheers, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentSheddie
Thu, 2023-12-07 18:17
Thanks ♥️
Thanks ♥️
Sheddie
Wed, 2023-12-06 04:47
This is a nice one and
Sheddie
Wed, 2023-12-06 04:47
This is a nice one and
Clentin
Wed, 2023-12-06 06:32
Very good depiction of
Very good depiction of Grandma’s house that is common with most of us. I think the last stanza sets the standard for Grandma’s kitchen.
The table was festively set with Grandma’s finest;
laden with turkey, dressing, and all our favorites.
Stuffed to the gills, we found room for those delicious pies,
whose aroma had haunted us since entering Grandma's marvelous kitchen!
Candlewitch
Wed, 2023-12-06 10:17
Dear Clentin,
Thank you for reading and leaving me such a lovely comment! I really enjoy learning what you like about my poem!
*hugs and holiday cheer, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentRuby Lord
Wed, 2023-12-06 08:15
Lovely, warmed me up on this
Lovely, warmed me up on this cold day. Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Candlewitch
Wed, 2023-12-06 10:20
Dear Ruby,
Thank you so much for reading my poem of a Christmas holiday childhood memory.
*hugs & holiday cheer, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentLeslie
Sat, 2023-12-23 00:45
Grandma's Christmas kitcen
This was beautiful especially your description of your
relationship with grandpa. It must have been wonderful
to be that close and have someone who loved you
that much. Best wishes and many joyous memories
this Christmas season.
The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!
Candlewitch
Sat, 2023-12-23 12:54
It certainly was special,
I mostly had good memories of both him and grandma. She worked hard and was one of the happiest women I ever knew. He worked his land and milked his cows for a living. They were never lacking for the love they gave and were given!
*happy holidays, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentLeslie
Sat, 2023-12-23 00:45
Grandma's Christmas kitcen
This was beautiful especially your description of your
relationship with grandpa. It must have been wonderful
to be that close and have someone who loved you
that much. Best wishes and many joyous memories
this Christmas season.
The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!
William Lynn
Sat, 2023-12-23 10:52
Hi Cat.
Hi Cat.
Two thoughts.
First: AI has never experienced Christmas at Grandma's house.
Second: I want to be at your Grandma's house right now. I can smell the aromas coming from her kitchen.
Thanks for a fun read, hoping you have a wonderful Christmas. - Will
Candlewitch
Sat, 2023-12-23 13:02
Dear Will,
Thank you so very much for the read and lovely comment! They raised great Children. my Dad was the best and tried to be a good son. I get my joy of Yule from my paternal side. I hope you also have fantastic memories of the season!
*love and best wishes, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author comment