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Filter

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Tue, 2023-06-13 20:16

I have to listen more diligently
for the subtler, sometimes taciturn thoughts.
The ones that filter through the heart;

not wanting to miss anything being said.
There, in the arena where I wrestle.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
Guessing that Neo AI will recommend that I expand on this one. it doesn't appear to be a fan of short poems - LOL. I await your judgment oh tech alchemist!
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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neopoet

Wed, 2023-06-14 02:20

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Title: Filter

In this poem, the speaker emphasizes the importance of paying attention to subtle, unspoken thoughts and emotions. The poem is concise and effectively conveys the idea of filtering through one's inner feelings. Here are some suggestions to further refine the poem:

1. The first line, "I have to listen more diligently," sets the tone for the poem. However, it might be beneficial to use a more vivid verb than "listen" to create a stronger image. For example, "I must attune myself more diligently" could provide a more engaging opening.

2. The second line, "for the subtler, sometimes taciturn thoughts," effectively introduces the idea of unspoken thoughts. However, the use of the word "taciturn" might not be the best choice, as it typically describes a person who is reserved or uncommunicative. A more appropriate word could be "unvoiced" or "inaudible."

3. The third line, "The ones that filter through the heart," is a strong image that ties in well with the poem's title. However, it might be interesting to explore the idea of the heart as a filter in more depth. For example, the poem could include additional lines that describe the process of filtering thoughts and emotions through the heart.

4. The fourth line, "not wanting to miss anything being said," could be rephrased to create a more powerful statement. For instance, "eager to capture every whispered word" might provide a more vivid image.

5. The final two lines, "There, in the arena where I wrestle," effectively convey the struggle to understand and process one's inner thoughts. However, the poem could benefit from a more detailed description of this "arena." For example, the poem could describe the emotions or challenges that the speaker faces in this internal struggle.

Overall, the poem effectively communicates the idea of filtering through one's thoughts and emotions. By refining the language and imagery, the poem can become even more engaging and thought-provoking.

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