Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Fair Maid

Eyes deep and radiant
within the fairest face;
a figure lithe and lean.
Each curve and gradient
exudes melodic grace,
through sweater and old jeans.

Though temperatures rise
and pulse beats start to pound,
in bust of perfect size
a loving heart is bound.

More fair than meets the eye;
look deep, for looks belie.

Editing stage: 

Comments

She may be the best person one is liable to meet but everyone has their flaws.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

author comment

Very nice flow with piece excellent writing I'm now a fan of yours.
Your friend,
Mario Vitale

Mario Vitale

with the notion of fans. There are many poets here I admire and read avidly but I stop short of following, being content to read as they make new posts.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

author comment

Well, I can't read anymore. Thank you. I don't .know what goes wrong with the first stanza, it seems way out to me. Clunky is the word I would use. Perhaps a rewrite, I think ... 'In sweater and old jeans', maybe.

on another poem's comments, sorry if my writing style upsets you in any way.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.