Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Difference

After showing me the difference
between being stupid at love
and being stupid in love,

I realized I didn't want anything from you,
just everything with you.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
A little slow on on the uptake, but I finally got it - thank you dearest!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "The Difference" presents a clear and concise exploration of the nuances of love. The use of contrast in the first three lines effectively highlights the distinction between "being stupid at love" and "being stupid in love". This is a clever way to convey the complexities of romantic relationships.

However, the transition from the first part to the second part of the poem could be smoother. The sudden shift from discussing the difference in perceptions of love to the speaker's realization about their desire might be jarring for some readers. A suggestion would be to use a bridging line or phrase to connect these two parts more seamlessly.

The final line, "just everything with you," is a powerful ending. It encapsulates the speaker's longing and desire in a succinct and impactful way. However, it might benefit from a bit more specificity. As it stands, "everything" is quite broad and could mean a variety of things. Providing a few concrete examples could help the reader connect more deeply with the speaker's emotions.

In terms of structure, the poem adheres to a free verse format. This allows for flexibility and creativity, but it might also benefit from a more consistent rhythm or a pattern of some sort. This could enhance the overall flow and readability of the poem.

Lastly, the title "The Difference" is fitting, as it encapsulates the main theme of the poem. However, it might be worth considering a more unique or specific title that could further intrigue the reader and hint at the poem's content.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Short, succinct, and powerful. Being in love is complicated and simple at the same time. Each love is different, but also alike.

Thanks T! Complicated to be sure.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Oh, my, Michael!
I have to respectfully disagree with AI. This grabs the reader in the most wonderful way. I was fortunate to have a love like this...just so gratefully precious. Wow...
Love this!
L

LOL, AI does miss some of the nuances we are trying to share in our writing. Thank you, as always, for your thoughtfulness.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.