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From the Diary of an Ordinary Woman

I
don't want
to grow where
white and grey mix
to conquer my hair.
Where fickle, erratic
furrows dig in everywhere,
Then all the beauty would let loose
and erode with happy memories
leaving me only loneliness to care.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

imagine a man having the temerity to voice this poem, especially with this title.

However I do so with respect as I do relate and hope I haven't done it an injustice.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1UK8fS2wYP8

Beautifully written, wistful and evocative.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

You actually helped me understand this poem better. I don't know if a workshop has been done on this already, but it will be fun to have poets read other poet's poems, just to better understand how others interpret our work.

.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

unfortunately no longer archived. A lot of poets struggle with the technology however if you have a microphone, either in-built or that you can plug in to your computer, or a headset with mike, Vocaroo makes it pretty easy.

The drawback is that Vocaroo is not archival, the recordings could disappear any time after three months. I am looking into using Youtube and other sources but the technology is even more daunting.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I keep a folder on my laptop where I store these audio recordings. Have you tried SoundCloud.com? It's one of the best recording services out there.

.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

I'll check it out.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

i am happy you did it with your voice. I assume you like it then. :)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

also mentioned respect and relating to it.
Yes, I liked it, and also think that the theme is more universal than the title suggests.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I thought the title is univetsal too. It is not only taken from my diary, but any woman's diary.
What would you suggest instead?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

is this poem about old age? That's what I see in here, a woman worried that age with turn her hair grey, and create those line that mar the beauty of her face.

That's all I see in here. And thanks for the reading Jess. :D

.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

about old age. Thanks for visiting.

PS. You said that Jess's reading helped you to understand the piece better. Would you tell me where you had troubles, if any.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

I didn't have any troubles. I just had a better understanding/appreciation of the poem after listening to it.

.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

Jess' s reading sure gives it an additional dimension.
Thanks again

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment
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