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From the Diary of an Ordinary Woman
I
don't want
to grow where
white and grey mix
to conquer my hair.
Where fickle, erratic
furrows dig in everywhere,
Then all the beauty would let loose
and erode with happy memories
leaving me only loneliness to care.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
weirdelf
Tue, 2014-01-07 04:40
Yes, I can be a cheeky sod [grins]
imagine a man having the temerity to voice this poem, especially with this title.
However I do so with respect as I do relate and hope I haven't done it an injustice.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1UK8fS2wYP8
Beautifully written, wistful and evocative.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
William Saint George
Tue, 2014-01-07 05:02
Not bad
You actually helped me understand this poem better. I don't know if a workshop has been done on this already, but it will be fun to have poets read other poet's poems, just to better understand how others interpret our work.
.
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
weirdelf
Tue, 2014-01-07 05:09
A workshop was done,
unfortunately no longer archived. A lot of poets struggle with the technology however if you have a microphone, either in-built or that you can plug in to your computer, or a headset with mike, Vocaroo makes it pretty easy.
The drawback is that Vocaroo is not archival, the recordings could disappear any time after three months. I am looking into using Youtube and other sources but the technology is even more daunting.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
William Saint George
Tue, 2014-01-07 05:12
Personally
I keep a folder on my laptop where I store these audio recordings. Have you tried SoundCloud.com? It's one of the best recording services out there.
.
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
weirdelf
Tue, 2014-01-07 06:11
Thanks William,
I'll check it out.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Rula
Thu, 2014-01-09 02:03
Thank you jess
i am happy you did it with your voice. I assume you like it then. :)
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weirdelf
Thu, 2014-01-09 03:08
I said "Beautifully written, wistful and evocative."
also mentioned respect and relating to it.
Yes, I liked it, and also think that the theme is more universal than the title suggests.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Rula
Thu, 2014-01-09 03:19
thanks again jess
I thought the title is univetsal too. It is not only taken from my diary, but any woman's diary.
What would you suggest instead?
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William Saint George
Tue, 2014-01-07 05:01
Rula
is this poem about old age? That's what I see in here, a woman worried that age with turn her hair grey, and create those line that mar the beauty of her face.
That's all I see in here. And thanks for the reading Jess. :D
.
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
Rula
Thu, 2014-01-09 02:07
It is William
about old age. Thanks for visiting.
PS. You said that Jess's reading helped you to understand the piece better. Would you tell me where you had troubles, if any.
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William Saint George
Thu, 2014-01-09 03:17
I didn't have any troubles. I
I didn't have any troubles. I just had a better understanding/appreciation of the poem after listening to it.
.
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
Rula
Thu, 2014-01-09 03:22
I understand
Jess' s reading sure gives it an additional dimension.
Thanks again
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Please follow me on Instagram
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