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Dialogue with my dog (February Contest)

Submitted by IRiz on Thu, 2018-02-22 11:34

Every day there are
about three stars explode
around us in the visible world.
On a good day we detect them all
and on a cloudy one - none.

Today is one of those.
No point to be in the lab.
Instead I've taken my dog
on a long walk to the park.

We wade in leaves, knead the dirt.
Under the blanket of
low hanging clouds and raising fog
we wander thinking about
melted snow and burned out stars -
they are not simply cooling off rocks
but newborn atoms
sent flying in dazzling curves.

They may end up meeting each other
within complex structures
like a mushroom or a tree house,
or even a dog nose.

And maybe one day in another life
we will breathe them in
or sneeze them out on the walk home.

- Do you think there is another life?
I see the question in my dog's eyes.
- Today I feel I am immortal
and stuck forever to these
stupid paws, toothy smile and wet fur...

- Yes, I answer, giving a startle
to a passing by grandma,
- I share your concern.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

OUT OF THIS WORLD

Comments

raj

Thu, 2018-02-22 15:15

Goodness me....IRiz your

Goodness me....IRiz your imagination is on fire and through this poem you make the reader transport into another unexplored world with clever use of words and phrases...some hid beneath or between the lines...very poetic and has all ingredients to make it an excellent recipe for the February contest..

I especially loved reference to the shapes and intriguing names of constellations via the following verses:-

They may end up meeting each other
within complex structures
like a mushroom or a tree house,
or even a dog nose.

Thanks for sharing the aroma of this poem...

raj (sublime_ocean)

IRiz

Thu, 2018-02-22 15:16

Raj,

Raj,
your comments are so rewarding. You have a gift of understanding poetry.
Thank you.

IRiz

author comment

raj

Thu, 2018-02-22 15:20

IRiz....you deserve every

IRiz....you deserve every word i said ...my comment was a result of absolute delight after reading your poem ...also served as a tutorial for abstract poetry...

keep serving us with such delicacies...

hugs...

raj (sublime_ocean)

lovedly

Fri, 2018-02-23 01:19

you know Iriz

raj is a great educated poet
incomparable
He is brilliant
I have known him since years
so many
He speaks from his heart
unconcealed
and
expresses his views
firefly -like
undaunted
I know it
He knows what real poetry is
We are just poetic kids
now you must lead
too.....
as in sunkus
leader are now only you