Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

CROWN MY VENUS MOUNTAIN

Submitted by Nordic cloud on Wed, 2012-01-25 11:06

CROWN MY VENUS MOUNTAIN
Margaret Ann Waddicor 2012.

Crown my Venus mountain with the your friuits
of summers sun, their ripened glow of colours
fill my cup,
as does the bee it's visit honeyed sweet,
our hearts meet in nectars so complete,
charges passions flames with heat of forest fires
that satiate the peak of our desires.

Such autumn blaze of red and gold
pierced leaves unfold
and grip the branch with fervour,
like the flight of moorland birds
their sudden rush,
strikes screams of fright
and sighs of love,
it's powers unleashed by blasts
of fuming flows,
tumbled waterfalls
deep down to depths unknown
you crest my senses flung.

Last few words: 
Gleaned from an old love letter, :) Ann.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Wed, 2012-01-25 12:20

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

Or a wildly crafted poem of great passion?
Fucked if I know.

I could barely stand the first stanza without throwing up on it's clichéd romanticism.

Then bang pow!

You certainly are a wordcrafter,

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Nordic cloud

Wed, 2012-01-25 14:40

Nordic cloud's picture

I never intentionally try to be clever, I see no need for that, those who do stay unread and definitely not understood, but then perhaps that's what they wanted in the first place!!! It was great passion of those two.

Yes the honey was pouring from my lips I knew it but it was self indulgent and delicious; somehow clichés flow when in love, crazy thing, soppy stuff really.

Then the act, well that's what it is and wow what it IS. That was the contrast.

Thank you for commenting Jess.

Skaal Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

author comment

weirdelf

Wed, 2012-01-25 15:28

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

it produces some of the most profound and confronting art of our era

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Nordic cloud

Wed, 2012-01-25 15:59

Nordic cloud's picture

I dudn't take any of what you said
as an insult far from it Jess I welcomed
yoir comment Thank you. Ann

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

author comment

Esker

Wed, 2012-01-25 13:00

Esker's picture

Im from that dinasour time when they made
you stand up front of people (peers)
to read aloud Canadian poetry or classical
works..Thank god I had a beautiful voice
and knew articulation well! but others
stumbled and struggled probably scarring
them forever..

But one cannot "listen" or "read" this
kind of beautiful construction without
feeling the qaulity throughout

I sit now transposed
bewitched..and that is poetry

*big sigh!!!

Nordic cloud

Wed, 2012-01-25 14:48

Nordic cloud's picture

Your utterances crown my page with suns and moons
when seen through drunken eyed blur
soft dreamt or real
like the sudden opening of dark black clouds
a blaze across the waters of the mind
dizzying, dazzling ...

Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

author comment

Ian.T

Wed, 2012-01-25 15:24

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

What a refreshing write full of joy vigour and go. This sounds like you have gained a new way and energy, Loved it, Loved it, Loved it, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.