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Clever Artifice

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Sun, 2023-08-27 09:34

My heart sometimes lies to me.
It says things it knows I want to hear,
knowing full well I will believe.

The constructions it builds there
tell me love isn’t a burden.
But here I am, fooled once again,
as grief returns to collect its price.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
My old acqaintance, grief, dropped by for another visit, sigh...
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Lavender

Mon, 2023-08-28 23:17

Lavender's picture
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Hello, Michael,
This one tugs the heart. If this is personal, I hope this feeling passes soon. I'm wondering about the word "constructions" - that word feels a bit indifferent. Perhaps something similar to "the shelters it seems to build there." Maybe not the feeling you are going for...? You've captured the duplicity.
Best,
L

Michael Anthony

Mon, 2023-08-28 23:34

Michael Anthony's picture
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Thanks for your thoughts on this one L - always appreciate your visits. I was definitely missing a loved one here. With the "constuctions" term, I was trying to play off the "artifice" word in the title of this poem. Interpreting artifice as something that is "built" or "created" but is false by its nature. Hope that makes sense...

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Lavender

Mon, 2023-08-28 23:38

Lavender's picture
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Absolutely. Thank you so much for explaining.
Take good care,
L

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