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Cleaning Up After You

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Wed, 2023-11-22 19:50

I sometimes feel your absence as if it were dust,
easily disturbed by currents of sorrow,
only to settle on the remnants you left behind.

With some effort, I sweep the delicate memories
into a bin that is never full, so you won't worry that I'm okay.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Ah, the holidays again. When those who are absent are missed the most.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Ruby Lord

Thu, 2023-11-23 06:38

Ruby Lord's picture

This is so good, I love the flow of your words, and the way dust and cleaning become a vivid metaphor for the emotions of grief and loss. Ruby :) xx

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

Lavender

Fri, 2023-11-24 17:42

Lavender's picture
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So still and confidential. A private, devoted conversation.
Very tender.
L

Tawny023

Sat, 2023-11-25 06:39

Definitely captured grief in its fullest form and the metaphor of dust is brilliant. With the flow and word choice it is so easy to connect. Job well done

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