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Open your bedroom window
And fly to the stars at night
Walk across the sun
And see it burning bright
Ride an enchanted unicorn
Across a sun-set beach
Then leap to a rainbow in the sky,
Just beyond your reach
Dance amongst the clouds
And sing with angels in Heaven
Then think to yourself,
What it would be like to be seven

Speak to talking animals
Imagine what they'd say
Dream of colorful landscapes
Then live to see it that day
Move to a faraway land
And live in a golden castle
Then pause and think for a second
What life would be without the hassle

Swim alongside mermaids
Dive under the deep blue
Believe in magic and miracles
And the wonders you can do
Explore unknown lands
Discover what lies beyond what you've seen
Create new worlds that lie, from the ocean, to the sky,
And in between
Fly away forever
To a place called Neverland
You never have to grow up
And you can be a kid again

Some people think wisdom,
Comes with you as you age
But the greatest wisdom of all,
Is with you as you're small
Keep innocence and imagination in your heart always
Even as you grow, make sure it stays
Learn from a child how to live again
And let the magic in your life begin

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 


You obviously sometimes feel like me,
I tend to wish to fly and do extraordinary things
on the spur of the moment, and even do,
usually with luck and sometimes a bit hasty

I would like to go on the journey you describe here,
where do I book?

The only things that tripped me were the repetitions,
Sun/sun setting and grow, perhaps the second one cold be mature.

I shall have sweet dreams tonight, thank you, Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

so much for your comment! I'm glad you could relate to it. I think we all can to some extent; we all want to live in the world our imagination creates.

Hehe, the journey is always available in your mind. ^^

I agree about the repetitions, i'll find other words to use.

God bless,

author comment

Being in a cynical mood I blue-tacked a note to my computer saying "be nice on Neopoet"

This is lovely and true but the cynical part of me says "hippie shit".

Just my personal opinion, but I see no reason why we should not write the negatives of life and offer reasonable, politically informed solutions.

Nonetheless, you got through to me, and lightened my mood, thank you.

A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'

you for the comment! Haha, I appreciate your honesty. I'm glad you enjoyed it though : )


author comment

I much enjoyed this beautiful trip thanks


author comment

and being a big kid myself enjoyed it.

very much!

author comment

this is quite lovely to read
but there are some spots where the rhythm is a tiny bit rough (imo I stress) and spoilt the imagery a little for me

I offer suggestions, please feel free to throw them away or use as you please

‘Across a sun setting beach’ (across a sun-set beach)

‘It being just beyond your reach’ (drop ‘it being’)

‘Then think to yourself,’ (needs some more iambs – ‘then think ta dum ta to yourself’)

‘What life would be without the hassle’ (drop the ‘the’)

‘And all the wonders you can do’ (drop ‘all’)

‘Explore unknown lands
Discover what lies beyond what you've seen
Create new worlds that lie, from the ocean, to the sky,
And in between’

‘ Explore unknown lands
Discover what lies beyond what you've seen
new worlds lie, from ocean to sky,
And everywhere in-between’

love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

you so much for the suggestions! i've made a few of the changes.


author comment
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