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A Child Asks Questions

Submitted by Sen99 on Sat, 2024-03-09 11:12

Why is a tomato both a vegetable and fruit
Why does a tree grow upward from a root
Why does 2+2 always equal 4
Why is the ceiling above the floor
Why does the day turn into night
Why does darkness vanish into light

Why do shadows leave such doubt
Why does the thunder always shout
Why say a star is born
Why is there a crack of dawn
Why do birds sing so sharp
Why does wind blow through a harp

Why is a circle always round
What can be lost and never found
Why do opposites never attract
When does knowledge become a fact
Why are two minds better than one
Why are fat jokes never any fun

Why do children have all these questions
Why can parents never find the answers

Some things just don't apply
But Why
Quit asking
Can pigs actually fly
I don't know
I just love you

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft

Contest:

Neopoet Weekly 03/010/24 to 03/16/24

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Sat, 2024-03-09 17:13

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "A Child asks Questions" uses a series of rhetorical questions to explore the curiosity of a child. This approach is effective in capturing the innocence and wonder of childhood. However, the poem could benefit from more consistency in the rhythm and rhyme scheme.

The poem starts with a AABB rhyme scheme in the first four lines, but then it shifts to ABCB in the next four lines. Consistency in rhyme scheme can help to create a more harmonious flow and rhythm.

In terms of rhythm, there are variations in the number of syllables per line. For example, the first line has nine syllables, while the second line has eight. This irregularity can disrupt the rhythm of the poem. Striving for a consistent number of syllables per line can help to create a smoother reading experience.

The poem also explores a shift in tone in the last two lines, moving from a child's innocent questioning to a parent's loving response. This shift could be made more effective with a smoother transition. For example, the line "Quit asking why!" could be rephrased to something less abrupt, such as "These questions swirl, oh my!"

Lastly, the poem could benefit from more vivid imagery. While it does a good job of posing questions that a child might ask, it could further engage the reader by painting a more detailed picture of the child's world. For example, instead of "Why does a tree grow upward from a root", the line could be "Why does a tree, from a tiny seed, shoot skyward, defying gravity's pull?"

Overall, the poem has a strong concept and effectively captures the curiosity of a child. With some adjustments to the rhyme scheme, rhythm, transition, and imagery, it could be even more engaging and impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Sun, 2024-03-10 23:56