Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Brew Of Vengeance (by: eddy styx) edited

burning you
in effigy
sounds so very
good to me...

so why not burn you
in the flesh?
I'll be fanning the flame to
keep it fresh

your kind of affection
I have found;
is like cold ashes
on the ground.

I've packed my bags
and pulled up stakes,
I'll leave you to
the rattlesnakes!

*this poem was written by my malevolent, murderous, MALE alter ego, eddy styx

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I would also appreciate title suggestions, as I don't care much for the one I used. thank you in advance, eddy styx *thanks to Geez for the big assist :)
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Explicit Content

Comments

"You Flaming F..." Lol.
Eddy certainly has it in for this one! I guess leaving him tied to a stake with branches 'round his feet, is a blessing, would be preferable to whatever else Eddy might have planned for him! Of course Killer and I love this! My only crit is that the second stanza seems a little bit out of whack. How about:

so why not burn you
in the flesh?
I'll be fanning the flame to
keep it fresh

I think it makes it a little smoother. Of course, as always, you are the Boss! ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

LOL! I very much like the way your twisted mind works. I'll be making the changes shortly...Greetings to Killer, too!

*ever, eddy
always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.