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Blush (by: eddy styx)

Blush...

I adore sunsets most
especially when they bleed,
colors running rampant
emotions on the feed.

when I am on the prowl
when I am on the hunt,
after years of practice
my tools will not blunt.

sometimes my knife is best
for a quick and easy kill
letting her see the blade first,
gives me a profound thrill.

my hands upon her throat
causes a pretty rosy flush
my excitement will always rise,
when I can manipulate her blush.

now be it known from here to there
I loved her hard, I loved her well.
I held her secrets close to my chest
not a one of these did I ever tell.

I like to sustain the moment of terror,
gazing deep into her widened eyes
it is better than a hit of meth
just imagine her surprise.

after her soul had departed
she lay seemingly in sweet repose.
the only question to remain
is the body where to dispose?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I need help with the sections and their placement. does it seem that way to anyone else? * eddy styx is my Male, murderous alter ego who writes dark poetry.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

a bleeding sunset must be about as nature themed as eddy will get!!

It reads like the opening chapter to novel that I would definitely read. The novel I am imagining would actually lead up to this moment.

How you slide into the eddy alter-ego & become a poet from a different perspective to Candlewitch amazes me.

Regards

One

.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"

what amazes me is that you can see the duality and the differences between Cat and me. thank you, One. I'd like to see what you could do with you duality ;

ever, eddy

*hugs, Cat

*

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

of your sections are fine.
I like your title; it is in keeping with the theme.
Your language use is great, plain without big noise.
The pacing is very good, the theme is one that is very familiar in eddy's writing
Only one place I would change, since you used [sweet] in the previous line, I would change
the following line to: is where the body to dispose?

Use or discard my opinions and comments as you will. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

for the advice which is always welcome to me. I think it reads better now.

ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

where, where you changed where. ~ Hugs, Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

thanks again

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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