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BAD GIRL

When i was young i didnt feel bad
Though performing acts that were hot

Now I pretend that I want to be bad
when I know that I really am not

Its easy for me in the end to pretend, but glad
that thats not what I've got

No core of evil ,no sight to be had
Good and evil in my melting pot

Don't look at me and hope that you see a truly evil fad
Just decent and kind and not left behind with that ghastly lot

Who do Drugs at parties,sleep around and often act like cads
pretending evil when I am good in fact does make me bad

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
I do pretend to be bad. Actually I am not. But I do not like this as a piece of poetic work I've amended with neopoet helpers. Thanks
Editing stage: 

Comments

If you dislike it one thing to try is to combine couplets so as to attain an ABAB rhyme pattern. Of course you'll then need to add another couplet somewhere to make things come out even. Just a thought to get you started thinking about alternates..............stan

I wanted it to have staccato punch but it doesn't. Needs work . What is ABAB?

author comment

If stattico is what you'r looking for you'll need to shorten the lines either by splitting them in two or condensing them because one can't have both stattico and lengthy lines. But keeping it as couplets Will reinforce the effect you are seeking..............stan

I tried the wild side walk for 36 hours then didn't feel good about myself though enjoyed myself at the time

author comment

Says " not available on this platform" how do I bypass it?

author comment

Even covered in snow

author comment

I really liked this one I agree with Stan it needs some lines shortening, but other than that a solid piece of work, I enjoyed the read :)

kind regards JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

I will set about it now! Transfer some heat to us so I can lie naked on my bed. I'm going to bed in my overcoat as the drafts waft around me!

author comment

Liked the poem, you come across as a very honest, open person. I'm afraid, at my age, the sensual aspects are a bit wasted.(Last time I was approached by a "Lady of the night" who enquired if I wanted "Super Sex" I opted for the soup!)
Ian

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

A Spanish salesgirl sold me some underwear in Sept saying they were super sexy. No they didn't get me anything . Maybe she did mean soup or sex eeeee!
Never too old in a mans case unless he is jaded! Hope you are not

author comment

Its easy for me in the end to pretend, but glad....good acceptance keeps the morale

I admire those
who accept that sex
is the be all
and ///but not end all of life
there is more to sex
than in bed with one's spouse
its fantasy
hope you do see me...

no ...not literally

loved

There is a book called kamasutra for oldies. Its funny with cartoons from the telegraph cartoonist but it hits home
Saggy breasts
Wrinkled bots
Gnarled legs
Veins in knots
Skin lumps
Mound now hump
Thinning hair
Not all there
What comes out
From my spout?
When I sneeze
Or I wheeze
But do you love me?
Yes just so
I remember what i saw
38 years ago

author comment

83 years olds
not sure I will swim that far
the other side of the river
is whither I wonder .
what of porn
or
KAMASUTRA
purpose is same perhaps
of those who couldn't stand ..
hahahahaa.

loved

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