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Back To Our Thickest

The false prophets have misled us
And we have crawled on our knees
To this modern miseries
Long away from the ancestral home

We are now lost in the wastelands of time
And our throats sourly scorch
From the long walk across the dirt of the desert
But the waters from the distant oceans
Bypasses in a pitiless hurry
And bidding us a mocking farewell

We have been over there already
Here we are now
Somewhere nowhere
In the middle of crisscrossing paths
And swaying miserably like drunken fools
Who know not the path they came from
Or the path they are headed

Yet among these plenty bizarre drum beats
We dirge to dying ourselves
Remembering the old voices that beckoned to us
To stay put back in our mighty thickest
The crickets own
Singing out their heart songs of noise
That beat annoyingly on our eardrums.

In that mighty wild,
Our natives own
Is our happy hunting ground.

There where the seasons die
To come alive again to freshen our bond
When the ancestral thunders strike in mystique rhythms
And the rituals of the masquerades are reborn
We dance barefooted in clouds of red dusts
Healing patterns unique to our tradition
Until the sun drops dead
Only then will the turbulence of our harvest songs
Bow to kiss nature’s gentility feet

And we retreat into the nights
Where we lay to rest the tempests of our plights
On the torn thatches of irritating itches
But we are pleased we rekindled the old fires
Spirits of the old fathers
Who battle on our behave night’s cruel creatures that creep
Seeking to feast in the baskets of our dreams whiles we sleep
The same old fathers
Who resurrect us anew in the next morning mysteries
When the sun hatches from the womb of our east.

This we dirge to our dying selves
Remembering
When the old voices beckoned to us
To stay put back in our mighty thickest
The crickets own

In that mighty wild,
Our natives own
Is our happy hunting ground.

But we are presently lost somewhere nowhere
In the middle of crisscrossing paths,
Miserably swaying like drunken fools.

Review Request (Intensity): 
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Comments

I could write a thesis analysing this brilliant poem.
It works at so many levels without appearance of contrivance.

Please pander to my envious curiosity, was this written at one draft or carefully crafted? I need to know.

It leads me so many places I don't know where I'm at, in a good way.
Great work.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Back To Our Thickest:- was drafted in 2007
and has gone through countless editing since then.
Yesterday was the last edit. Held on it for too long.
so I thought post it finally.
thanks for read.

respects.

WonderGolly

What I love most about POETS is how they write SADNESS with SUNSHINE on their face, caption RAIN with FALLEN EMBERS and paint TEARS using the colours of WATERFALLS:lol

author comment

this is an awesome write
wonderful imagery wonderful language use
an opening stanza that draws the reader in immediately
to become lost in this lost journey of the soul
‘Somewhere nowhere
In the middle of crisscrossing paths
And swaying miserably like drunken fools’

‘When the ancestral thunders strike in mystique rhythms
And the rituals of the masquerades are reborn’ – oh I am lost for words

wonderful symbolism - for example
‘Seeking to feast in the baskets of our dreams’

i'm going to say no more, for if i continue i won't be able to stop and i'd fill a book

thank you very much for sharing this
there is absolutely nothing to crit
love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Thanks for coming by and reading this piece
and I appreciate your wonderful comments.
:::::::
"Back To Our Thickest depicts a journey of a lost soul that travels too far sometimes only to get lost
searching for something that was already in his possession in the past."
:::::::::
thanks again for the read.

respects.

WonderGolly

What I love most about POETS is how they write SADNESS with SUNSHINE on their face, caption RAIN with FALLEN EMBERS and paint TEARS using the colours of WATERFALLS:lol

author comment

out of my line of poetry
no wonder my Golly
you are a procrastinating... poet
you started in 2007 ???
where were you till then
none the less
your marvel has been appreciated
glad people give you the credit
I only can read a bit...

We are now lost in the wastelands of time..lovely words of Amazon you define...

you change the '''sands'' to ''' waste ....'''
what a livening taste...

loved

nice of you to come by and thanks for the read. It's appreciated.
I guess for some of us procrastination
is an inevitable part of our reality.
some bakery just happen to take too long to bake. lolz
I've been around... schooling the most.

*Back to Our Thickest is a little unconventional
but I am glad all you lovely folks appreciate it. thanks again.

respects.

WonderGolly

What I love most about POETS is how they write SADNESS with SUNSHINE on their face, caption RAIN with FALLEN EMBERS and paint TEARS using the colours of WATERFALLS:lol

author comment
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