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Autumn Arrival Image prompt -Golden Leaves of life
In the autumn
vibrant decorate
form the radiant
beauty view
wind dance in
a softly sway
In the sunlight
aglow carry through
the divine scene
brilliance display
of the falling green
trees and flowers
are losing their color
Life continues to move on
resonate the thought
of resilience remind
learning lessons instilled
in the mind
Strength finds in change
with the wisdom to embrace
of nature guiding light
Leading with an
inspiration of golden
leaves of life
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2024-08-27 23:53
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Autumn Arrival Image prompt -Golden Leaves of life" utilizes vivid imagery and metaphors to convey the beauty of autumn and the lessons it imparts. However, there are areas where clarity and structure could be improved to enhance the overall impact of the poem.
1. Syntax and Grammar: The poem would benefit from a more consistent use of syntax and grammar. For instance, "vibrant decorate" and "beauty view" in the first stanza could be rephrased for clarity.
2. Punctuation: The poem lacks punctuation, which can make it difficult for the reader to follow the intended rhythm and pauses. Consider using punctuation to guide the reader through the poem.
3. Metaphor Development: The metaphor of autumn as a teacher imparting lessons of resilience and change is compelling. However, it could be developed further to create a stronger connection between the natural imagery and the abstract concepts.
4. Line Breaks: The line breaks seem arbitrary at times, disrupting the flow of the poem. For example, "Strength finds in change/with the wisdom to embrace" could be one line to maintain the rhythm.
5. Consistency: The poem starts with a focus on the visual elements of autumn but shifts to a more abstract exploration of life lessons in the second half. While this shift is not inherently problematic, it could be executed more smoothly to maintain thematic consistency.
6. Title: The title could be more concise and intriguing to draw readers in. Consider something like "Autumn's Golden Lessons" or simply "Golden Leaves."
In conclusion, the poem has a strong central metaphor and vivid imagery, but could benefit from improvements in clarity, structure, and consistency.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Alex Tanner
Wed, 2024-08-28 07:49
Hello Hon.
At first I was unsure. But this grew on me. I like punctuation and I often comment on the lack or incorrect use of it. But this needs none, at least not from you. The reader can put the punctuation where they want, let it flow as they want. I certainly enjoyed doing that. I don't like AI. Technically correct but no heart or soul. Alex
Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-08-28 08:07
Hello Hon,
very unique and special...I much enjoyed the whole poem but these were my favorites:
Strength finds in change
with the wisdom to embrace
of nature guiding light
Leading with an
inspiration of golden
leaves of life
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Lavender
Wed, 2024-08-28 13:11
Golden Leaves of Life
Hello, Hon,
This reminds me of your "Beach Day" poem. A gathering of abstract images best felt without a structured form - simply stated. Your poetry reminds me of a dancer (I know, kinda silly) who moves this way and that way, but gracefully shows us the entire story. Lovely!
Thank you!
L