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Aquarius

Submitted by Kelly Ann Wilson on Sun, 2024-01-28 11:13

Aquarius
Written by Kelly Ann Wilson

Women of the water
Sea salt is our perfume
You can find us by the seashore
Painting with every shade of blue

We sing an untamed siren’s song
But take a mermaid’s form
Look deeper than the surface
At the late January born

Written January 26, 2024
© 2024 Kelly Ann Wilson

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Last few words: 
Read my writer’s blog at https://kwilsonarts.wordpress.com
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Candlewitch

Sun, 2024-01-28 12:57

Candlewitch's picture
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This poem is really pretty. I like it a lot. Are you an Aquarian? I am a cusp born Aquarian/Pisces. born February 18th. I find Astrology kind of interesting. I really like these lines:

Women of the water
Sea salt is our perfume
You can find us by the seashore
Painting with every shade of blue

*hugs, Cat

*
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Geezer

Sun, 2024-01-28 16:05

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I have two suggestions, one is to delete the word [with] in the last line.
The other is to change the word [storm] for the word [born] in the last line.
Nice stuff. ~ Geezer.
.

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