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Another World

Submitted by Keith Logan on Fri, 2016-04-01 05:44

If I could figure out how, this poem would be entered in the limmerick contest, anyway folks I hope some may enjoy it.

Snug under the covers I go
to a world which no one can know.
then slide down the bed
sheet over my head
as outside its twenty below.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
April 2016 - Limerick - Prize -$25 USD Amazon.com Gift Certificate

Comments

Rula

Fri, 2016-04-01 08:52

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I thought this is not a bad limerick at all (not so sure about the anapestic meter though, I am still practicing it myself.)
However this gave me a chuckle, picturing you snugging/ snuggling under all the covers in such a cold climate ;)
Wish you the best in the contest.

P.S. To enter this for the limerick's contest you need to choose Edit> choose from the contest's drop window at the bottom of the page (April 2016 - Limerick - Prize -$25 USD Amazon.com Gift Certificate) > save
Hope this helps

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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Keith Logan

Fri, 2016-04-01 12:28

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Twenty below was exageration for comic effect but I suppose this still works
Snug under the covers I go
to a world which no one can know.
then slide down the bed
sheet over my head
as outside its still five below.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

author comment

Rula

Fri, 2016-04-01 16:23

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I see you've successfully entered your submission to the contest.
Any changes/ revisions you wish to do can be excuted by clicking on the edit button and saving the changes you wish to have.
Regards

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

weirdelf

Tue, 2016-04-12 13:12

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the AABBA rhyming scheme.
The BB lines being shorter and can be combined into one line.
The meter need not be strictly Anapaestic but should be consistent.

I especially like this as it is not straight-forwardly comic or bawdy, has almost a haiku quality.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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