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Jul 01, 2024
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Angel
I see you there glowing,
like an angel in a darkened sky,
gentle as I ever seen.
I bow my head before your eyes.
But alas, you are sleeping,
And your eyes are closed.
It’s just a figment of my imagination,
you were there you really were.
I see no sense in what you are.
To me you are the most wonderful creature,
and maybe you truly are an angel,
sent from God to guide me.
— Patricia, Jul 01, 2024
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About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Critiques
Alex Tanner
1 year 11 months ago
Hello
I liked this immensely, a nice soft read. A possible typo. Did you mean 'gentle' where you have 'gentile'? Alex.
Patricia
1 year 11 months ago
Thank you
Thank you very much,
Pat
Geezer
1 year 11 months ago
I would choose...
to present this just a little differently, like so:
gentle as [I've] ever seen.
But your eyes are closed
you are sleeping.
comma: "you were there, you really were."
Nice stuff! ~ Geez.
.
Patricia
1 year 11 months ago
Angel
Thank you for the critique and kind words.
Pat
Patricia
1 year 11 months ago
Thank you for the nice
Thank you for the nice comment
Pat
Patricia
1 year 11 months ago
Mark thank you for the nice
Mark thank you for the nice comment.
Love Pat