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Aching

Submitted by Lavender on Thu, 2023-02-09 18:56

What of this heart
once broken, now
too heavy with fear
to fly?

It is less of what
your eyes promise
as they embrace me
from across the room

and more in the way
they make me
tremble

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Poets Hand

Thu, 2023-02-09 20:57

Dear Aching

The first verse is so well put and succinct that it is enough to make the reader alert to the pain of loss and fear of new commitment. The remainder of the poem says here I am like a trembling faun about to take first steps.

Very well thought out poem, incredibly raw and yet with the promise of new life.

Poets Hand
Hannah

Lavender

Fri, 2023-02-10 15:10

Thank you...

for reading and sharing your thoughts! I appreciate your generous comments!
L

author comment

Rosewood Apothecary

Fri, 2023-02-10 05:31

Title

I saw the title. I saw you were the author and I already knew how good this was going to be. In fact, you may make the occasional reader tremble with this one.

Tim

Lavender

Fri, 2023-02-10 15:11

Hello, Tim,

Thank you for reading...as always, your thoughts mean a lot to me.
L

author comment

Seren

Fri, 2023-02-10 09:52

Lavender

I have nothing to say critque wise. There is nothing to correct.

This is pure poetry, written from that place inside we hide our secrets. Beautifully done.

Brava!

Kindest Regards Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Lavender

Fri, 2023-02-10 15:12

Hello, Jayne,

I appreciate your kind words! Good to see you!
L

author comment

Geezer

Fri, 2023-02-10 11:55

I feel...

as though I have intruded upon a private moment, between you and another. One of those times when you see two people and for them, there is no one else for a hundred miles around, and you know... It may not be right, and it will never happen,
or they have just discovered each other. But you know. This is one of those times. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Lavender

Fri, 2023-02-10 15:14