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Aching
What of this heart
once broken, now
too heavy with fear
to fly?
It is less of what
your eyes promise
as they embrace me
from across the room
and more in the way
they make me
tremble
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Poets Hand
Thu, 2023-02-09 20:57
Dear Aching
The first verse is so well put and succinct that it is enough to make the reader alert to the pain of loss and fear of new commitment. The remainder of the poem says here I am like a trembling faun about to take first steps.
Very well thought out poem, incredibly raw and yet with the promise of new life.
Poets Hand
Hannah
Lavender
Fri, 2023-02-10 15:10
Thank you...
for reading and sharing your thoughts! I appreciate your generous comments!
L
Rosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2023-02-10 05:31
Title
I saw the title. I saw you were the author and I already knew how good this was going to be. In fact, you may make the occasional reader tremble with this one.
Tim
Lavender
Fri, 2023-02-10 15:11
Hello, Tim,
Thank you for reading...as always, your thoughts mean a lot to me.
L
Seren
Fri, 2023-02-10 09:52
Lavender
I have nothing to say critque wise. There is nothing to correct.
This is pure poetry, written from that place inside we hide our secrets. Beautifully done.
Brava!
Kindest Regards Jayne x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Lavender
Fri, 2023-02-10 15:12
Hello, Jayne,
I appreciate your kind words! Good to see you!
L
Geezer
Fri, 2023-02-10 11:55
I feel...
as though I have intruded upon a private moment, between you and another. One of those times when you see two people and for them, there is no one else for a hundred miles around, and you know... It may not be right, and it will never happen,
or they have just discovered each other. But you know. This is one of those times. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Fri, 2023-02-10 15:14
Hello, Geezer,
I love your comments - and I am so grateful to you!
L
RoseBlack
Fri, 2023-02-10 18:45
A beautiful write
As always and so true. Teaching ourselves to love again after a serious heartbreak is challenging. You captured the moment perfectly.
~RoseBlack~
Lavender
Sat, 2023-02-11 18:59
Hello, Carrie,
Thank you for reading - it definitely takes a bit of courage. I hope you are well! :) Thank you for reading!
L
Clentin
Sat, 2023-03-11 10:43
I can experience your pain in
I can experience your pain in this poem. Very well done
Obadiah Grey
Sat, 2023-03-11 10:56
Oh, Well done! L.
Oh, Well done! L.
These type of poems stay with me for a long-while,
again, bravo.
Obi.
Lavender
Sat, 2023-03-11 11:11
Hello, Obi,
Thank you for reading! I am very grateful!
L
Lavender
Sat, 2023-03-11 11:09
Hello, Clentin,
There is deep pain, yes. And a great deal of fear, but also a longing to love again.
Thank you for reading this one. I appreciate your comments!
L