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November (updated!)

November

ominous is the sky
roiling clouds in shades of gray
reminders that all things die
no mention of rebirth now

portents of the dying
from the horizon
no time now for crying
so wipe the trears away

winter crisp in the air
harbinger of death's decay
while stiff wind strips branches bare
through them falling flakes do dare

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Comments

perfectly chillng, great stuff. Can't find fault.

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Thanks for reading and responding.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I'm glad you liked it! We are still waiting for snow!

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

The only thing wrong I can find with this poem is a possible typo in the last line of the second stanza. Sorry. That's all I got. wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Thank you for reading and commenting!

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

but perhaps a tad cliche? Another winter poem.

cheers,
Jess, Neopoet Directors
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

Sorry you didn't like it, but thanks for reading and commenting. I always appreciate the truth of ones feelings.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Sometimes grey matter is needed,
To enjoy snow fall on branches,
It does not behoove the likes of me,
To say anything else,
But excellent,
To those who are in paper published...
On computer stuff we know
Can be lost,
To the lack of current flow,
And to hackers
None know...

loved

Lovely to see you.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Very foreboding. Only obvios change to suggest is line 2 stanza 2.I think your intnt was to use clipped lines to reinforce the content but this line is a bit too clipped to convey intent I think. And there's nuthin' wrong with winter poems lol.....................stan

It is wonderful to have you back with us! I hope all your computer problems are solved and behind you. Have a great winter season.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I feel here that it has something staccato and stark
and yet doesn't quite do that, just a matter of
making it a little more sharp, even borrowing something
from nonsense rhyme, not the humour!

Like the beating of a drum, sounding the doom of Winter.
How I am not sure.

Branchs-branches?
Trears-tears

Ann

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

Thank you, Ann :)

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I love winter
even though its over
(Palm trees in five years!!)

"winter crisp in air
the harbinger of deaths decay
while stiff winds strip the branches bare
and through them falling flakes so fair.."
or
"do dare"

hard to believe but I did read a lot of classic lit
in my days along with "other" lit..

love poems about winter and glad now that we can
look forward to daffodils in a few months!!

I love your rewrite! beautiful!! Thanks for reading an commenting.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

"fair
do dare"

works together rather then an AS

wish I was more up to date with theory and such
But, Im not So sue me Ha ha ha

rather enjoy reading all these lately
I will miss this come next week when I return
to my room
such limited time
but I am revelling in these moments

been commenting like crazy too
which is pretty damned fun

its always cool how people do different
covers of songs on U Tube and I thought
poetry can be the same too

Thank You

I very much enjoy reading your responses. I've been readin them on others posts as well. Great job!!!

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment
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