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Kaliber

Submitted by Esker on Mon, 2011-07-25 22:11

kunning you said
thirsty for the darkness
rimmed like an ecliptic cool
I can see you gazing neath
the sculpted shadow show
streetlights emerge and you
in Totality as traffic thrusts past
its feeler headlamps
its hot ember tailights

you jangle your keys like spurs
the heels sharp
"They used to sacrfice under this rare
auspicious happening" you look
up scanning for a sign
The dragon with fire licking from its
red lips

you eyes fill with sodium glare
an angel grounded
till the mantle of sunshine and
blue emerges
this chill like a wave
drowning joy
and awakening the mystic fears

your smile beautific
and a few chunky stilleto steps
and the hungry shadows swallow
you whole

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Tonya

Tue, 2011-07-26 08:51

Tonya's picture

Love the feeling and tale of this poem. However, I do feel there are places
important linking words/ideas are missing and a few too many and's, the's and it's are present.
As always, there are many wonderfully descriptive verses!
Always,
Tonya

Esker

Wed, 2011-07-27 12:18

Esker's picture

five ands and two an's many The's
and so it goes
missing words and linking stuff

I never seem to put these in
nor punctuation
just the way i write it seems

it would all be smoother
would flow
but I dont know
I just like jotting
sometimes

thanks for the comments though

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