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drops of you

Submitted by Kailashana2 on Thu, 2011-07-21 08:26

the smell of you
permeates my skin
drops of you
resonate

i am a bow for your
plucking, you are my
instrument

play me

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

lou

Fri, 2011-07-22 01:26

lou's picture

This is a sensual poem, but I'd change the word smell in the first line, maybe you could say, 'your trace permeates my skin,' or 'the trace of you permeates my skin'.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Kailashana2

Fri, 2011-07-22 06:43

Lou!

I did not want to make this a sickeningly sweet poem....using scent of you or fragrance of you, so the *smell* seemed appropriate when engaging in animal lust, modified with a little *music*..

:-)

~A

author comment

lou

Fri, 2011-07-22 07:05

lou's picture

Fine

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Kailashana2

Fri, 2011-07-22 10:05

Hmmm. This is a purely sexual poem, Ian. The bow refers to body and the instrument refers to well... you know...and so by now you can gather what song is being played...?.

Thanks for reading Ian. And maybe it is a cliche. lol.

~A

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