Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

BLUSH

you brush me with your tenderlust
trust
held with ring shinning fingers
and dazzle nails gleaming
like moist paint

breath against me in sigh
punctuation
how I love the slow commas

warm like lantern lamps
on oilskin table tops
and hemp rope held
tarpaulin rooms

I follow the curve of your
hip delved with mystery
the smooth plain
of stomach and then
the foothill ribcage
the hill of breast

we sweep like sable
brush the archeology of
souls
swimming in the dust
of our short histories
gathering in climax
fingerlings of taste
and exclamatory exclusions
of intimacy

drenched and sated
our oasis
we breathe
like vapours
pooling visions
in wet eyes
and tired thighs

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 

Comments

to see you in such great form. I like the short lines, that give the gist of the thought. Only crit. is the spelling of shining. Seems as though you are back to your old self. Making pictures that I can follow in my head. ~ Gee

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Thank You Geezer sometimes I wander off trying new dimensionative form
of written writing shinning or shining english was not a strong point
only because I think I just refused to conform to learning but scooping
the fast "gist" of it as you say but some of the writing does flow in the
format I have been here for awhile at this sight and another
both sites off much for free form writing for me
if I try very hard I can probably do other forms
but Im a tad lazy Im glad though that pictures in the head work
for this is Pictograph moments isnt it making form with words
..

author comment

for me it was a treat to read this one..to me it was more like looking at a scripture...

just a wee bit of suggestion...how about changing ..

like moist paint
to
like moist pearls

raj (sublime_ocean)

this word would work very well
and add to the sensual visual flow
rather then the vivid image of "paint"
or gloss even which still describes
pearls I remember the freshwater
pearls and the rare moment of
seeing a real sea pearl

thank you

author comment

you are spot on about "moist pearls" adding a sensual effect...that's precisely the reason of my suggestion..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Who couldn't melt at these words?
Its all wonderful.

Love to you from Ann

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

to write about sensuality in an original way but you have done that here. I can only see one thing that needs fixing which is the spelling of 'shining' you have an extra 'n' there. :) This builds like the crescendo in music and at the end you are breathless but satisfied.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

first time Ive really looked at the work end of all this poetry
but amazing I like the work and consideration gone
into this Thank You for your help! a grateful Esker!

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.