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love letter #1

Submitted by CCfire on Wed, 2011-03-30 22:00

this box contains letters
love letters i wrote
and never sent

they would've arrived
at wrong times
or got lost in transit

this way i can read them
remind myself i loved you

some people never go crazy
in their simple lives
their simple dreams
that won't get in the way

these letters
will never get old

you will never get old

i wrote them in
early fall
it won't wither,
won't lose its colors

i can't discard
for the trash men
they wouldn't read them
nor understand

when i read them
I can smile
because with you

love was true

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
[This option has been removed]
Last few words: 
This is a series of 100 I am working on, inspired by poet Anne Waldman's 300 personal letters she wrote to real people in her life. So each one is about someone I knew or know. No names no packdrills lol
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

raj

Wed, 2011-03-30 23:13

those love letters surely hold a lot of endearing memories....a nice simple n honest rendition...

raj (sublime_ocean)

paper umbrella

Wed, 2011-03-30 23:22

i really like how you break the stanzas here, it gives it a slower pace. the only thing i might suggest is the ending. after the 3rd to last stanza, it might be more effective to end the poem with a single line. the last two stanzas of the poem don't have the impact of your earlier lines and do not contain the subtle insight that the previous words suggest. the ending becomes more telling than a suggestive implication. but then again, i'm being picky here since you that's what you want :) it's fine the way it is, it's only if you want to be critical that i suggest maybe work on the ending a bit. good to read you here

CCfire

Wed, 2011-03-30 23:49

CCfire's picture

Omg I am so happy to see you here :) I am smiling huge...and thank you, I am considering the last part of this, I want some heavy editing on these as I want these published. :) Thank you..will look at it.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

CCfire

Thu, 2011-03-31 04:27

CCfire's picture

You're a treasure, I used some of your suggestions and changed up a bit of it. Keep them coming :)

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

Candlewitch

Thu, 2011-03-31 12:07

Candlewitch's picture
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Nice to meet you. I like the idea of unsent love letters. Because you can read them over and over again, whenever the fancy takes you. These letters will instantly transport you to the place which you were when you wrote them. My favorite lines are:

when i read them
I can smile
because with you

love was true

I nave no suggestions, only appreciation for the work.

always, Cat

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And reply in kind, thanks.

CCfire

Fri, 2011-04-01 09:23

CCfire's picture

Thank you Cat, this is the first in a series of 100 I am editing, Anne Waldman, one of the beat poets had done 300 and it was those that inspired me to see if I could do my own, of course I don't have that many friends, lovers, husbands/family as she did but the 100 came fairly easy when I started the idea and started writing down all the things I wished I'd said to people. The only difference is that Anne sent all of hers out to random people in the mail as an exercise to see who would send them back, she wrote them on postcards and envelopes and she received All back and all with notes attached saying how they had profoundly touched people who had nothing to do with her yet felt the need to write after reading them.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

Pamela A. Lamppa

Tue, 2011-04-12 07:11

Pamela A. Lamppa's picture

Wow - just reading this about Anne Waldman.
I find the idea absolutely intriguing. hmmmm
Could I experiment with this?

I love the thought of it.

.. .

~"It's ALL about the Poetry~

Please join us in The Shark Pool

CCfire

Wed, 2011-04-13 02:09

CCfire's picture

Pam, Juls has the link to the original Ann Waldman Love letters online, give her a message on FB or here or both and get the link, as this is a new computer, I don't have the link and its not that easy to find but I know she saved it :) Feel free to try it, it's a great thing and good soulfood.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

CCfire

Wed, 2011-04-13 02:10

CCfire's picture

I appreciate you reading Eph

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment
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