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reading the leaves
i will build myself between pages
divide pain into chapters and
fill my hands with rain
arrive at the same place
at the same time each day
as fall fends off winter
i will chase you away
for i should not be afraid of
what makes me shiver under the sun
your name, i will leave in tealeaves
a message at the bottom
of every cup
you will not make me believe
light is illegal, or hope
but i will count the scars
on my tongue
prepare them to heal
while inside my door
the fire will die
waiting to live
i may never whisper again
show me evidence,
there is evidence
love lifts freedom over borders
across continents
you remain my Switzerland
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
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Editing stage:
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Comments
raj
Sun, 2011-07-17 06:54
Chez
profound feeling expressed figuratively through coherent words..hard to pick a favorite from amongst many....
raj (sublime_ocean)
CCfire
Sun, 2011-07-17 06:56
Thank you Raj, I appreciate
Thank you Raj, I appreciate you reading and commenting
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
Bonitaj
Sun, 2011-07-17 07:00
Hi Chez
Don't think I've ever commented on your work before - but this one's prophetic title drew me in! Liked how you drew from the well of despair and yet ended off on a note of confidence and hope.
Just one niggle for me is the use of "and" at the end of line
six. Seemed a little redundant.
THanks for sharing!
Boni
Bonitaj
CCfire
Sun, 2011-07-17 07:02
Hi Boni
Nice catch there, you're right..it's unnecessary and thanks for stopping by :)
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
Kailashana2
Sun, 2011-07-17 07:15
Switzerland. My mom was
Switzerland. My mom was reared there after her parents died.
Yes. If we're lucky we all have a Switzerland to love or to have loved.
~A
CCfire
Mon, 2011-07-18 07:50
Its a beautiful country I've
Its a beautiful country I've visited in the past and you're so right Anna we are all lucky to have our own Switzerland at some point in our lives. I won't forget mine.
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
CCfire
Mon, 2011-07-18 07:49
Thank you Lonnie, i
Thank you Lonnie, i appreciate your comments
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche