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The apperception
Of existence
Is washed by the world
All that lives
Cleansing the soul

Some will be lost
Unable to purified
Misfits , reborn
A solider , existing
Against , the right

This is a chess board
Enlisting , souls
Washed for balance
Dividing , the preordained
To black or white
Good and bad , fighting for control

We are all enlisted
Every soul
Is condemn
Older than history
This battle , never ends

When we die
Only the skin
Remains behind
Buried is your face
Silent’s , becomes your name

Your body , used and dispose
It was only skin
A shell
For your soul

Every rebirth
Of a soul
Owns , one choice
A name
A body
Only to dignify their condemn soul

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
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Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


A strong piece, though it could do with a bit of work. I am no great believer in souls, but i guess for people who do the battle to enter heaven is very difficult. Especially in today's world, but if they do wrong should they be condemned or forgiven. I believe it only matters to the living. But as i say there seems to be the need to remove or add something to smooth the piece out. I.E. Line two second verse - Unable to be purified. Smooths the line out. These are just my thoughts, I will try to help some more if you think i can. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

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