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E L L I P S E

Submitted by Esker on Wed, 2011-02-23 12:15

crush
the history
of powder shadow
you streak
with treacle
mischief

discern me with
your mirror lull
the soft green
world
lush and deep

where now you
haunt me
dream and sleep

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Wed, 2011-02-23 12:18

Esker's picture

what? what?

the collision come and gone
the years immersed and mixed
how much transposed
the hostel gleam transpired

for each and every
moment

......

author comment

Geezer

Wed, 2011-02-23 14:12

Geezer's picture
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of your work, forces me to "constantly" examine it closely, to discern the lull in my perception. The "hostel gleam" transpires the breath of belonging. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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weirdelf

Thu, 2011-02-24 03:01

weirdelf's picture
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There is always the option of "Last few words " when posting.

Love the lines-
you streak
with treacle
mischief

Love the read, sorry, no constructive feedback. It has, as Geezer says "The sparseness... of your work, forces me to "constantly" examine it closely, to discern the lull in my perception."

cheers,
Jess
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Esker

Thu, 2011-02-24 15:26

Esker's picture

blame if on the fear aand balm
the great readership
when dusk came
and nighttime set us
in our sheets
and on our way with words
from the books
all classics withe colour plates
beautifully done
when bookmaking was an art
and craft
(like poetry)

author comment
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