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Here's To You
When I am older
next twenty years,
and you are older, too,
we'll sit beneath
the slate blue sky,
and share a drink or two.
We'll toast to friends
who've sailed away
over the great divide,
and think about
the times ahead
just beyond the other side.
So sing sweet songs
to our living boons
who roam with us each day.
Sing sweeter songs
to unforgotten souls
who are never far away.
When I am gone
some thirty years,
and you shall follow soon,
we'll sit within
the bright vast sky,
raise our glasses to the moon.
Cheers to all
who crossed our paths
with whom we shared a smile.
Here's to all
who saw us through,
those who made it all worthwhile.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Salud!
L
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Ruby Lord
Tue, 2023-08-22 09:56
Lovely, I enjoyed the rhyme
Lovely, I enjoyed the rhyme scheme and the simplicty of your poem and the way it built and came together at the end. Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Lavender
Tue, 2023-08-22 16:28
Hello, Ruby,
A little reflection on my life, and life in general.
Thank you for reading!
Lx
Geezer
Tue, 2023-08-22 10:01
An awesome...
tribute to life and one's living contribution to it.
Yes, we are all together in this world, let's live in it like we all belong.
I like the three line format, it makes for a sharp picture,
rather than long lines blending the whole thing into one big blur.
Nicely done! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Tue, 2023-08-22 16:31
Hi, Geezer,
True, we are all in this together - which hopefully makes the hard parts a bit easier to take.
Thank you!
L
scribbler
Tue, 2023-08-22 12:15
hello
Unusual rhyme scheme which does a good job of avoiding a sing song effect. I also enjoyed the theme of how we can none of us avoid getting older. But I still fight against it lol
Lavender
Tue, 2023-08-22 16:34
Hi, Stan,
Sitting beneath a sunny sky, sharing a drink or two seems to make getting older a little less disagreeable.
Thank you!
L
RoseBlack
Tue, 2023-08-22 18:21
A beautiful
picture engraved in my mind. I can envision sitting with an old friend, a family member or significant other and reminiscing about life. Your poetry always seems to enfold your reader in what feels like a gentle hug. Always a pleasure to read!
~RoseBlack~
Lavender
Wed, 2023-08-23 11:37
Hello, Carrie,
I am so touched - if you feel hugged from this, then it has accomplished my intent,
Thank you for reading!
Lx
Lavender
Wed, 2023-08-23 20:44
Hello, Mark,
I am grateful for dear friends!
Thank you for reading!
L
Clentin
Thu, 2023-08-24 20:20
Great reflection of our
Great reflection of our changing lives. Liked the rhyme and the total effect of the poem
Lavender
Thu, 2023-08-24 21:16
Hello, Clentin,
Friends of old, and old friends are precious.
Thank you for reading!
L
FinleyOrion
Sun, 2023-10-01 23:54
Wholesome and Hopeful
Hi Lavender! Can I just say that your work is absolutely lovely. And this particular poem is just…magical. Really. I don’t know how else to describe it except for that it was bittersweet nostalgia with an undertone of hope. Thank you for sharing! :)
FinleyOrion
Lavender
Mon, 2023-10-02 13:25
Hello, Finley,
You are so kind! Family and friends are everything. (And poetry is pretty wonderful, too!)
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughtful comments!
L