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End Of Day
summer night relief
curtains exhale silently
cool air tiptoes in
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Wed, 2023-07-19 02:57
I have a memory...
that comes back to me from my youth; a scene of watching a woman asleep on my bed, the curtains doing that very thing,
exhaling a cooling breeze, like blowing on a hot spoonful of soup. Getting ready for the next sip. Very nice! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Wed, 2023-07-19 15:01
Hello, Geezer!
Wow..."a cooling breeze, like blowing on a hot spoonful of soup." What an absolutely great visual! Maybe the foundation for a Geezer haiku / poem?
Thank you for reading and sharing your wonderful memory!
L
Geezer
Wed, 2023-07-19 17:57
I could...
persuaded. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Wed, 2023-07-19 20:51
I look forward
to reading it!
L
Clentin
Tue, 2023-08-15 16:19
Love the haiku
Love the haiku
Reminds me about my youthful. Days
Clentin
Tue, 2023-08-15 16:19
Love the haiku
Love the haiku
Reminds me about my youthful. Days
Clentin
Tue, 2023-08-15 16:19
Love the haiku
Love the haiku
Reminds me about my youthful. Days
Clentin
Tue, 2023-08-15 16:19
Love the haiku
Love the haiku
Reminds me about my youthful. Days
Lavender
Tue, 2023-08-15 20:33
Hello, Clentin,
A nice, cool breeze was making its way in after a scorcher-of-a-day.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
L