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Loneliness
There are twelve
mallards on the lake -
seven males
five females
Now the rest of the day
shall slowly drift by
with little left to count
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Fri, 2023-03-17 14:51
dear lavender,
count your blessings and count how many you love.
*love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Lavender
Fri, 2023-03-17 15:24
Hello, Cat,
I am well now, and count my blessings daily. But I do recall the feeling of loneliness very acutely.
Thank you for your care, and as always, for reading!
Lx
RoseBlack
Sat, 2023-03-18 08:38
Such a deep poem
Few words with such a deep meaning- not too long ago I was staring out my window just watching the world go by and thinking how long the days had become. Loneliness is certainly a feeling all in itself and while it still creeps in on me periodically, I am sure glad it is less. I love the vision of the mallards on the lake. It brings a peaceful, serene feeling to the poem. Great job as always!
~RoseBlack~
Lavender
Sat, 2023-03-18 11:31
Hello, Carrie,
I tried to convey the literal sense of loneliness - the lack of companionship, and then the disconnected feeling. We all experience it at some point in our lives. It's wonderful when it subsides.
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!
L
RoseBlack
Sat, 2023-03-18 11:35
You did
a wonderful job of conveying the sense of loneliness and did it in an elegant way. I really enjoy your references to nature and how you utilize them to portray such deep emotions!
~RoseBlack~
Lavender
Sat, 2023-03-18 11:38
Thank you!
We are all connected...truly.
L
Seren
Wed, 2023-03-29 05:19
Dearest L
Sigh this is a snapshot in time. The counting done, the world passes by like a dream placed gently in my mind. You take me away and nothing else exists but this time and this place.
Magnificent, brava!!..
Much love J x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Lavender
Wed, 2023-03-29 10:29
Hello, J,
Loneliness definitely feels like a pause in time - so much so that it almost has a sound to it that can only be described as a lack of sound. So glad you read and shared your thoughts!
Much love,
Lx