Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
A Day off
We woke up at dawn,
ran away from the town.
Ignoring farewell silhouettes
in the windows behind us
I concentrated on driving.
My dog-friend
eagerly looked forward,
deep thoughts hidden under
the short fur
in the folds of the dog’s frown.
Ears and cheeks flapped in the wind.
Black coat shone in the sunrise
like an evening gown.
We got out of the car and looked up.
Clouds tumbled all over. The tree tops
morphed into a sparkling golden mass.
We stared long enough to notice
that they are in fact river banks
never destined to meet
but nevertheless touching,
stretching towards each other
the very ends of the tiniest branches.
Brown leaves floated slowly down.
Carrying only the best memories
they were pretty light,
shrunk quite a bit but not crumbled.
One of them dropped on my shoulder,
slid along my arm and stuck
in the wool of my gloved palm.
It was not the prettiest in the park
but dear to me as a present.
Followed by the dog’s curious glances,
I carried it all the way to the car.
At home we sat in the kitchen,
I poured a seasonal drink
hot and spicy cinnamon cider
and we talked over it
like only leaves talk to each other.
Comments
Kusanagi
Tue, 2017-12-19 12:18
I found this a joy to read,
I found this a joy to read, the humble observing perspective and characterization of the environment is done very well
IRiz
Tue, 2017-12-19 13:50
Thank you
I appreciate your time reading and commenting
IRiz
lovedly
Wed, 2017-12-20 09:44
IRiz u r
a wonderful descriptive composer
with full composure
I have only one thing to say
I envy the dog
I loved so many
have one even today
he loves me
I wanted to come to DC
but couldn't make it
went all over US of A
loved NEW YORK
AND NIAGARA ---MOSTLY
IRiz
Wed, 2017-12-20 14:10
thank you
thank you
IRiz
vandiemenspeak
Fri, 2018-01-12 10:29
Like only leaves can talk to each other..
Magic. And, a touch of Plath (hate to draw comparisons) but you have a real knack of gathering the natural environment and transforming it it in to somethng quite extraordinary! Love the image of the leaf floating down and being trapped in your glove. Brilliant. Have you ever read Ted hughes? "A hawk in the rain" I Think you would like him. This is inspiring stuff - keep going! Need to read more.
Take care,
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
IRiz
Sat, 2018-01-13 09:06
Hi Chris,
Hi Chris,
Thank you for your words.They matter a lot.
Especially from you, talented poet.
I feel encouraged and have posted a poem I wrote a couple of days ago.
Have a good weekend. But you already half through it so you can probably attest that it was another day like many, you already feel separated from it and ready for Sunday. I am on the other hand still in the morning of American East Coast and full of unreasonable hopes.
These are jokes and do not reflect the opinion of local government.
Best wishes from sincerely yours,
Irene.
IRiz
vandiemenspeak
Tue, 2018-01-23 05:03
Haa..
Like your sign off..! I don't think Trump is going to tap, or build a wall around Neopoet..:)
Cheers,
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
IRiz
Tue, 2018-01-23 09:13
Smiling,
Smiling,
Oh, the walls we build
around ourselves
to protect, to prevent,
to keep safe,
to escape and to hide
from unknown.
I often walk on them.
I like the one
built around China.
Five horses could run on it side by side
I like the ones that are surrounded
by canals.
Thick stone walls with cracks I like to climb.
I am a Climber by the way.
Just recently started.
Of course demolishing a wall pehaps
is the most delightful way
of coping with them all.
IRiz
vandiemenspeak
Sun, 2018-02-04 22:11
Glad you're smiling..
It's the best defence we have to senility and rampant machismo ...:)
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
IRiz
Tue, 2018-01-23 11:38
Thank you,
Thank you,
BTW I am glad to find you on G+
Post your poems if you have time
I will reshare on my wall and it will bring attention to your profile. There are a few things can be done to advertise you there. There are also poetic communities. Not very selective, they may serve as a way to find think-alikes. I started following you. There is a polished Wall poem you inspired me to make.
IRiz
vandiemenspeak
Tue, 2018-01-30 06:16
Thanks mate!
I will do that..sounds like a plan..
Cheers, take care,
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
IRiz
Tue, 2018-01-30 08:50
Great
Great
IRiz
raj
Wed, 2018-01-17 12:47
I too found "like only leaves
I too found "like only leaves talk to each other" to be the master stroke you have delivered in poem which makes the reader aware that it's really worth taking a time off to discover the plentiful gifts of nature we miss in an urban lifestyle.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
IRiz
Wed, 2018-01-17 14:09
thank you for reading
thank you for reading
IRiz
raj
Thu, 2018-01-18 12:48
would be good to know if I
would be good to know if I read the essence of your poem correctly or if my perception was way off...
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
IRiz
Thu, 2018-01-18 13:58
Dear RAJ,
Dear RAJ,
Thank you again for your interest.
Like practically any poem, this one has a multitude of meanings, the readers put their own emphasis on what they relate to the most. I can tell from your interpretation that perhaps you need a day off and wish to go somewhere away from urban mess and hustle. For others the theme of loneliness might come out first. After all my character talks to the leaves the way they talk, basically she is silently sitting and drinking her cider alone. Others might find a positive vibes of refreshing solitude one might feel when quietly contemplates about nature. But all these thoughts are up to you, my reader. When I send the poem out, the ball is on your side to play back.
That is why there is no right or wrong interpretation, the same as there is no right or wrong poem.
Have a wonderful afternoon, and thank you for your time reading my long explanations.
IRiz
raj
Thu, 2018-01-18 14:04
Hi IRiz...thanks for
Hi IRiz...thanks for elaborating your thoughts about this poem which is pretty interesting and I am now able to perceive it also differently than what I had perceived it before...this has allowed me to have two bites at the same apple and it tastes good either way..
regards...
raj (sublime_ocean)
IRiz
Thu, 2018-01-18 14:29
Hahaha, with this unexpected
Hahaha, with this unexpected culinary outcome you have brightened my day.
IRiz
raj
Fri, 2018-01-19 07:23
good to know my comment
good to know my comment brought on laughter....
Regards...
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Tue, 2018-01-23 12:53
YOU HAVE a gift natural
to attract bees to honey
particularly when guys are in search
but mostly in lurch
make what you will
pun is intended
leaf speaks to me
come over have wine
will ye.....
IRiz
Tue, 2018-01-23 13:02
ha you noticed that too
ha you noticed that too
i thought it is just me
imagining things
i wish I could
be that honey
but i am a million year old amber
still transparrent
still catching sunlight
but petrified the way i almost like it
piece of a fossil
with a few ants and a moth
silently nodding within
IRiz
lovedly
Tue, 2018-01-23 23:51
wow ancient
but like a new born poetry
patient
beyond times
as we all age
but you must still be
a young sage
IRiz
Wed, 2018-01-24 08:05
:)
:)
IRiz
lovedly
Thu, 2018-02-01 09:08
one is smiles I know
is the other one cries
I don't know
great poet OH
my last comment on your three line poetry
has been removed
I wonder by who
IRiz
Thu, 2018-02-01 09:22
I do not know. But what was
I do not know. But what was in there?
Forum becomes hard to read some messages do not always noticed
IRiz
lovedly
Thu, 2018-02-01 11:57
i did not know much about forums
shall avoid