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Give Them A Flush

There are people that can
and there are people that can't.
There are people that could
if they just had the chance.

If the world only knew
What only could be
If they opened their eyes
and started to see.

They would find out how much more there was.
See God is so awesome, the things that he does.

So many people that just don't care.
They just want what they want
and that doesn't seem fair.

There you have it
The reason the world is so rough
So many people are selfish.
Put them into the crapper
and give them a flush

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
The way I see it is that the world has to many people with tunnel vision That can only see it fro there perspective, all about them ( selfish people ) That will be are damnation
Editing stage: 

Comments

Good one. Keep on writing.

Alid

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