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Free To Be Me

Submitted by Chef Don on Wed, 2017-01-25 09:41

I am free to be me cause that's all I can be.
You Live your life each day that goes by.
Never a thought about when you will die.
You think about going to this place and that.
You haven't a clue of whats coming next.

As life goes on and you start to think
where do you go when your life is through.

The grave is so shallow.
Gods creation so deep.
The beauty so awesome no words can I speak.
When I die send me up like a bird in the sky.
Sprinkle me over the world that I love.
Like a crop that's been dusted for more things to grow.

Let me tell you, this is from me.
I'd rather be on a leaf in a tree
then put in a box and sealed in the ground for my body to rot.

I know God is watching and I won't let him down.
I'll be as free as the river the sea and the ground.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This I wish for everyone to know. To be yourself no matter where you go. Cause nobody knows you like you do. You become someone else. Then you'll loose yourself and you'll have no place to go.
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing

Comments

chevyvent

Thu, 2017-01-26 21:22

chevyvent's picture

Piercing to the soul your words resonate in that fashion.
I was taken back of how you mentioned God and the questions that came up.
It reminded me of Job in the bible in how he questioned his existence.
Like how you incorporated that your free which is a good truth to behold.
Lastly the flow of the piece is spot on and I'd like to see more of your work.
Thank you very much for this precious gem of a piece to behold !

Mario Vitale

Chef Don

Sat, 2017-01-28 08:48

Chef Don's picture

Mario, thank you for your views. I can't explain how or why I get
to write and where I come up with the things that I do. Well yes
I truly believe that God gives me everything and it is up to me to
use it or loose it. Here is one that I wrote for a song

Your Not All Alone
Cause Life Is Not A Game

When life comes on to strong
and you don't know what to do
You feel that everything
Is bearing down on you
You're not all alone
There's more that feel the same
There's more to life then what you know
cause life is not a game.
Everyone has a different thought
Everyone see's something else
Life is not always the same
It depends on the hand your dealt.
So when you take a chance in life.
That's what you take
Life isn't a game you play
Life is what you make.
So when life comes on to strong
and you don't know what to do.
Take a chance on living your life
and see how it comes through.
No one has a plan on life
Cause life will always change
Your not all alone in life
Cause life is not a game

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